Friday, April 11, 2008

City of Hope...

From The Wife:
Every six months we have been going with Marco to City of Hope to have a CT Scan of Marco's lungs - a routine check to catch any signs of the cancer spreading, the lung is where it would go to first if not in the calf muscle. This appointment is not one we look forward to - at least I never do. I do not like the unknown.

This appointment brings chills to my spine. I can only imagine what goes through Marco's as he sits in that room waiting to see Dr. Trisal.

The last appointments have been great news. There had not been any signs of cancer. And we all cheered and we were very happy for the news. Marco's last CT Scan was on September 2007 - about six months ago with everything looking good.

Today is April 10, 2008, six months to the day of his last CT Scan and the day we never wanted to come.

Today Dr. Trisal let us know that Marco had a small tumor in his left lung. It needs to be removed right away. Dr. Trisal says it has grown rapidly in the last six months to about 11 mm in size.

The next step is waiting for the surgery date. I will keep you posted.

And we fight on..........and as Dr. Ronnie Kaye says in an article I read yesterday in COPING Magazine she says.......

In struggling to come to terms with this issue "cancer" her patients have learned:

First, while there are no guarantees after cancer, there were never any guarantees before cancer either. Vulnerability is simply a fact of life for all human beings, not just for cancer survivors.

Second, no matter whether we live 90 more days or 90 more years, we cannot lose and cancer cannot win as long as we live our lives as fully as possible and refuse to give up our ability to love and our capacity for joy. (positive thinking)

We are all praying for our Moshura.


weezy130 said...

We are here for you Moshura. Anything you need.
The Wife and Moshura's sister Thank you for the post.
I admire all of your courage Moshura, The Wife, DLP, Machini.

Anonymous said...

One day at a time says...
I know that this was not the news we wanted to hear but just know that we are here for you. I admire you all for your courage and strength to fight on. I especially liked what The Wife wrote. Your words are very powerful and it makes me stand back and reflect on the importance of family. I luv you all.

The Wife said...

We have come a long way in this fuk'n journey,path, obstacle,challenge what ever the fuk you want to call it.

That we never even fuk'n signed up for.

Some how our lives have been strapped down to this fuk'n roller coaster we can't seem to stop or jump off of.

Just as the one year anniversary was coming up since they first removed this nasty-ass thing called cancer.

I was getting excited that the CT Scans had been great.
That your leg pain was being managed to were I didn't see you rubbing on you leg as often.
To reduce your pins and needles and cramps.

Some may say and the doctor lets you know to prepare your ass in case something comes up in the CT Scan,yourself as well as I might have thought in the back of our minds that mentally we prepared ourself for the fuk'n worst case senario.

ex: they tell you that the fuk'n cancer is back or that it has gone to the lungs. See yourself somewhat accepting it in fuk'n awe and start preparing for the what needs to be done.

But in reality it fuk'n hits you hard, as if a giant fuk'n bear just pounced on your ass and you didn't even see the damn thing coming straight at you.

So now we need to pick our ass's off the ground and yell with all our might SHIT!!!!! and then maybe thank the fuk'n bear for the reality check.

Look how far you come with the surgery and the radiation and all of your speedy recovery and I know you have the fighting power to face caner again.

I also believe with all my heart that COH will help us in the fight, with all they have and that we will come out with another victory flag against this fuk'n cancer.


You need to know that you have your team right beside you 100% all the way.

And that there is nothing we wouldn't do for your ass!

Focus on the damn Wife, DLP,Machini and the family to get all of our strengh and add it to the one you already have to fight this cancer again.

I love you a lot and we will all rally together to take this B*tch out.
(this is what Marco called the cancer)

Anonymous said...

with everything going so great and a sense of normalcy starting to actually come back, it is total anger that consumes my thoughts. and boy are some people just so lucky that they cant hear my thoughts! --- constantly wondering why! and how we have all gotten to this point ends up becoming a circle of nonsense> just when i got so happy to see marco fixing the lawn and just standing there to see what the hell was next on his list to do> this shit comes up> of course anger will not help this or any other situation but it is the first thing that comes to mind> we will always be here to help< to laugh< to bug< but just know that making things nice and fluffy isnt going to help anyone> the truth is what we base our relationships on and it is the truth that will help us get through everything> as hard as it may be> know that even though the truth may hurt< it will make you stronger>
and even though this "biotch" is back marcos strength and will power will get him through it>
its like that cheezy lean on me song> "lean on me>> ill help you carry on" that one>
con mucho mucho amor>>>>>>>>>

Anonymous said...

Surviving 3 under 5 says:
I am truely devastated with the reality that you have to ride the rollercoaster again. My heart is broken to imagine the horror you face with this cancer reappearing. I am realizing this is an ugly ugly reality that we are faced with. I had to take a few deep breaths, walking away from the computer a couple of times as the wife vocalized her clear anger, hurt and overwhelming frustration at the reality of the lung cancer. I can say I am really really heartbroken. I prayed that this day would never come. Marco has always been one of my heroes and can say you do not deserve this burden.

But having this burden know that you are not alone. Your family and friends are on this journey with you. You are in good hands with City of Hope. This burden will too soon pass. We pray for your speedy recovery and know you have the courage to fight through this B!!!! again.