Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Essay written by Moshura's Little Girl...
This is an essay that DLP submitted to a radio contest on "How I cope with cancer":
Cancer. The disease is unforgivable. It brings pain, tears, heartache, and for some it brings out the warriors with in. Cancer takes a lot from a person, emotionally and physically. Not only does cancer affect those who have this disease but it affects all their loved ones around them. This disease can have a terrible impact on a family.
I am fourteen years old and my father was diagnosed two years ago with soft-tissue sarcoma cancer, an aggressive reoccurring type of cancer. My dad was a mess emotionally for the first couple of months along with my mom. Although they have their emotional out burst from time to time. I had never seen them cry so much or stay in bed for so long. It was devastating news, especially for my dad. I never want to cry in front of my dad. I try to stay strong. I don’t want to make him feel more pressure to worry about me then he has to. I tend to cope on my own. I do have family which help me relieve stress. I know they help out my dad as well. I try to think in reality of the cause and effect possibilities. Such as for surgeries there will be mood swings and self-preparation before. After there will be recovery and treatments. Then side effects of the treatment tiredness, vomiting, more mood swings, self doubt, and lots of mind wondering. With every surgery there’s a possibility of death. In my mind I just have to realize, for this cause that will be the effect. There is nothing I can do no matter what cause or effect is. The biggest cause event has already taken place. Now its the doctors job to take the cancer out of my dads body, and also my dads jobs to think positive and self heal his own body.
Over the last two years my dad has had three surgeries (soon to be four) three months of radiation and four cycles of chemo. As these numbers increase I can see my dad slowly giving up as in getting tired of it all. My dad is the strongest, most positive, most inspiring man I know. He has made amazing recovery and treatment results. He even has his doctors in awe due to the fact that the type of cancer my dad has does not respond to chemo very well and his tumor shrunk more than half way. He also didn’t lose as much weight as expected. Although he did lose his hair and had other side effects, and yet he still keeps pulling through. As the more the chemo progressed the more he started getting antsy and restless, I don’t blame him, he just wanted to be home already and not in the hospital. The more surgeries and more difficult they are. I see him in a way expecting death. Though the treatments help they still have their setbacks. Its not like my dad looks forward to be in the hospital for weeks at a time and dealing with the side effects there or at home.
Coping is hard to do, but yet still doable. Many people have different way to cope. We all have to cry, scream, laugh at some point in time. I cry at times when things become to over whelming, but then again what else is there to do but cry. I haven’t reach the point to scream, yet. Laugh, laughing is the best therapy there is. Making jokes of the effects of the surgeries or chemo helps to raise a little spirits in my family. For example, my dad has lost his hair due to the chemo so some of us tell him to go comb his hair or put gel on his hair. My dad gets some kicks out of it and makes fun of himself. The laughs now and then are good, they aren’t always around when you may need them most.
Reassuring. That is key to positive thinking and well being. I always have to reassure not only myself, but my dad as well that he will be fine and no matter what happens we will all be fine one way or another. I also have to accept the realities of the toll this cancer on my dad and family.
We now are a day away from surgery number four, which is one of the most life risking major surgery my dad has ever had to encounter. The thought of death has been going through everyone’s mind so I asked my dad if he was scared to die, he relied “a little.” I reassured him that dying is a natural thing in life and that its not something to be afraid of. At some point in our life we must go and there is nothing anyone can do about it. We all must accept the fact of death and we must deal with it although it may hurt and cause pain its what our future holds for us.
I believe that with in myself coping I realize the outcomes of everything and no matter what it is I must accept it. My perspective on life has changed I don’t believe in things that I once did. Life itself is too short to be so focus on the little things. You should just let life take you on an adventure and live freely. With the situation my dad is in, that’s the basics of it all. Not to worry so much on the little things such as paying bills, loosing the house, or what will happen if you don’t get a job soon. Sometimes you just have to breathe and focus at the task at hand. Getting through surgery and back to some want yourself mentally, although it may not show physically. Cancer a thing of purely torches a person, which also brings hardship and test your body on how hard it can fight and how far your willing to go to win the battle. In over all, CANCER SUCKS.
Posted by Moshura's Sister at 10:42 PM