Just numb would be the word to describe how I am feeling. I haven't been able to pinpoint why I can't scream to the top of my lungs ( in a soft spoken manner, mind you) don't even see these word with exclamation marks either.
Just can't seem to let the words " the reason you have been having the severe headache and have lost most of your eye sight from your left eye is because you have a brain tumor the size of a golf ball". What do you do with that? We didn't fall apart,we didn't cry hysterically, I just reached over and hugged my handsome.
There is nothing you can do at that moment but pick up your jaw from the floor and dust it off and ask what needs to be done. Things are happening to fast, in a blink of the eye so it seems.
I guess Adrenalin just kicks in, and you can move mountains. Do what needs to be done because it has to be done and focus because you need to pay extra attention to everything that is being said cause this is not cake walk now. This is bigger and I had to put my game face on. Well someone take this game face off cause I don't want it. I am frozen, I guess you can say. I can see myself writing stupid now.
I want to tell you all that happened but I am so tired and my mind is running all over the place and just that all over the place. Can't make sense of it all. But scream I do want to scream but it comes out as if I were to be reading out and not yelling it out.