Fighting Soft-Tissue Sarcoma

Under Control So Far

2012-02-16T02:07:00.002-05:00

Seems like Marco is having more pain that he himself doesn't seem to feel but his fevers have been spiking up this last week. He is now on the oxygen machine pretty much all day. I have been giving him his breakthrough medication at night time like clock work to ease some of the fever and soreness he has been feeling more on his sides and pressure in his head.

He seems to be coughing more too. Still with some bloody sputum. I hate to see him out of breath and gasping for air. Seems like his breathing is getting worse too. Told him today he needs to just take it even more slower that he has been so he doesn't lose his breath and to make it easier on him.

We did have a nice weekend last weekend, we had several family member come and visit including Marco's family which was nice. It was great to see them all.

For now Marco has had a fever between 100.9 to 102.1 every night. We are keeping an eye on it, extra morphine seems to be working to keep things under control so far. Will keep you posted.

Busy Weekend....Strenght

2012-02-11T02:51:00.005-05:00

Just seems like a lot going on. Marco has had a real hard time with his breathing the last couple of days. And has been coughing more lately too with some bloody sputum. No fever tonight which is good. He has been feeling very tired as well but does his best to get up and do a little something. Extremely slowly not to get winded.

We are excited to see family we haven't seen in a while, Moshura's sister is coming out from D.C. to visit and the Temecula family will be here this weekend. Just hoping Marco can be out in the living room if only for a little bit to say hello. Since he hasn't been feeling good lately at all.

Emotionally drained is what we feel. Just wrapping up on last minute things so we can say that thing to do list is done. We want to thank my sister Surviving 3 under 5 for helping us out with all of this shit we had to do.

Will keep you posted if anything changes.

Fever Creeping Up

2012-02-08T02:50:00.003-05:00

Well Marco seemed to be feeling better this morning. We ran some errands this morning and picked up the kids from school and he said he was feeling okay. His breathing was good and everything seemed to be in his "normal".

Marco even said he was fine and for me to go to the casino for my birthday. DLP called me a 2 hours later saying Marcos fever had jumped to 100.9 and she had already given him some medicine to bring it down and not to worry but as soon as we could we left to come back home.

So far his fever has gone down but his breathing started to act up again so oxygen was placed back on and now he is trying to rest. I will post if anything changes so for now he is okay.

Why? Does it seem that when the fun ends.... the fevers begin...???

2012-02-07T02:36:00.005-05:00

Saturday night, Marco was really gasping for air and asked for the oxygen, you know his ass wasn't feeling well at that point to ask for it. . When it was time for us to go to sleep all he did was get into bed and leaned in to get all the blanket ready and his eyes almost popped out his head because he couldn't breath.

It scared me to see him like that, he asked for oxygen again. 5 min. later he looked better and he was

able to breath normal again. When Sunday rolled around, Marco was really hoping that he would feel good to see all the guys and be able to make it to the get together. Well, it didn't take long after he woke up and got out of bed when his was having a hard time breathing.

So finally when it was time to go I told him we could go for a little bit and if he didn't feel good then we could leave. Packed up the oxygen tank and meds and we were on our way. He was just taking it easy and we were able to stay for awhile till he felt tired and we came home. We had a great time with the the Disturbers and Family. With all kind of good food and good times. Seeing all the grown kids just made you feel like time is passing by so fast. Thank you to Liz and NoNo for the Super Bowl get together.

This morning he had a hard time breathing so he was on the oxygen again. He also coughed up some bloody sputum. Around 8:30pm tonight he was having more problems breathing so he is back on the oxygen. He has had a fever of 102.0 so I started to put cold packs on him to bring it down.

Its 11:58pm now and his breathing hasn't changed (normal this morning 5 min it was back to normal) right now just seems to be giving him problem. Gave him some medication to bring fever down and see what happens throughout the night. He is not feeling good at the time will keep you posted. His temp right now is 101.4 so it looks like its coming down slowly.

Marco says he is glad he was able to see all the guys before the fevers kicked it.

Bitter Sweet

2012-01-31T13:03:00.004-05:00

Matthew invited us to the movies on Saturday to watch Man On The Ledge....they both loved it and i could have walked out of the movie 5 minutes into it. But it was a nice outing. Sunday we had the opportunity to go to Kiki and Lisa's baby shower in L.A and had a great time seeing all the family there.

Marco has been having more soreness in his left and right sides and a couple of days ago he was coughing up some blood sputum. It seems to have stopped for now but we are keeping an eye on that. His head soreness last night seems to be getting worse. He was complaining in his sleep of pain and held his head in the process but when I went to wake him up he said he was alright. Watching that too. He has been feeling very tired and it takes some time for him to find the strength to get out of bed.

Marco is excited for the Disturbers Super Bowl get-together this weekend. Its been over a year since they last got together.

So far on the end of the month things to do list,I have so far done most of them. Last night, Marco and I worked on the Memorial Video...we laughed, we cried, cried some more and laughed. We were up late picking songs and Marco says to me,"did you know that there aren't to many people in the world who live to participate in making decision on their own funeral planning. We usually see it on TV were the old person is leaving a message to their loved ones of what they are getting as inheritance.

In this case, we are just planning on what he would like for his funeral arrangements. Looking at all the pictures and putting it together, would of been something I would love to enjoy doing but this is somewhat bitter sweet to be making this, but it needs to get done.

I have just one more thing on the list but I tell Marco its one of those voodoo feeling kind of things to go making the real funeral arrangement, is like taboo....if you go do it, it may happen kind of feeling. But Larry the nurse would like to have everything in order before anything happens. Will see how that goes.....for now just taking it easy.

Just Trying To Understand....

2012-01-24T23:21:00.004-05:00

This nightmare and roller coaster that we seem to have gotten on and can't get off
of is just torturous. Marco and I were talking last night and it’s just so hard trying to understand how the hell we got here. How did we end up here, where no one wants to be? Told after so much shit Marco had to endure at COH that there is nothing humanly possible that can be done anymore. It’s hard to accept.

His thoughts are on: when, where, and how will it happen, how much longer do I have? It’s
been 3 months since Dr. Chow let us know that, that was it. Marco even wonders if he is selfish, selfish for wondering how much time he has. We know no one has an expiration date, believe me his not in a rush. But these are things that he thinks about often.

The emotional tension is the worse I think, we are just bombs ready to bust. Yeah, we let it out here and there, but it just seems like there is just something bigger hiding under the first couple of tears. It's hard to play the waiting game. Marco says, “you know it’s around the corner and you’re ok with that, but you don't want it to get here either.”

We are on watch 24/7. We are constantly asking Marco: How are you feeling? Are you ok? There
are times Marco walks and begins to lose his balance, he coughs at times, he has shortness of breath and you can’t help but be cautious of everything. The pressure he has been feeling in his chest now and head is worrisome because that shit could pop up in his head again as well.

It’s hard to not to think of what could happen at any time. I ask Marco if I get on his damn
nerves asking him all the time if his is okay, but he replies with no. It is really hard understanding everything Marco has gone through and for what? It just doesn't make any sense, but we do believe someone out there has voodoo dolls for us. But I believe Marco when he sings to me “LOVE, LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER” (yes he does sing that to me and he holds the tune). Those are some powerful words coming from this man.

Time and time again, we don't have an explanation for it. Well, I feel I do need an explanation or more so a better understanding. I am just so pissed, that we have to go through all this. Even with all the uncertainty that life hold for us, we try to look far above the dark clouds that loom over us every day.

All Lot Of Soreness

2012-01-21T00:48:00.004-05:00

It's been 5 months since Marco had his brain tumor removed. Up until now, he had been doing good. He just started to have some pressure in his head especially in the surgery area. He rubs his head to make it feel better a couple of times a day.

Its also been about 10 months since Marco had his major surgery in his left side and that soreness hasn't gone away we think it could be from the surgery itself and everything they did in there.
He is also starting to feel some soreness on his right side which is were they found the new growth in June 2011. Marco still has his good days and his bad but we deal with it as it comes.
He still loses his breath just doing little things, he tries to do things at a slow pace.

Marco has been trying to get a fishing trip in, but the weather and the uncertainty of what will happen makes him think twice about going out. I get scared just to think of the consequences that we would have to deal with after the trip.

There is just so much movement on the boat that just on a regular day he would have a hard time. I could only imagine what that trip would be like. Yes, we want to go and go with him but just the thought of what pain he would be in, scares the hell out of me.

He mentioned the other day that he really wanted to go fishing so I said "Let's go then, I will go with you and will take the kids out of school." He didn't respond, but he looked like he almost wanted to go ...will see.

,,

Find A Cure Photos....Thank You!

2012-01-13T04:20:00.005-05:00

Thank you to all our family and friends for supporting the Find A Cure Fundraiser that Kray

organized to send funds to City of Hope for Sarcoma Research.

Marco showing off his super powers....it's got to be the shirt....

We raised $400.00

Rally Monkey's Rock!

Thank you to all who bought a shirt....it all went to a good cause

Find A Cure....cheering squad

It is all going to a good cause

Thank you for helping in the fundraiser again you are all awesome!

Send me your photos and I will post them...thank you again

Better Late Than Never.....Thank You!

2012-01-13T04:00:00.005-05:00

If I remember correctly, we all showed up to the Blood Bank at City of Hope. All willing and ready to give blood. The nurses just keep peeping through the little window on the door and saying Oh Shit! are they all donating. Well, okay maybe not in those words but they were all excited to have us all there donating and everyone wearing yellow to represent and the Rally Monkeys made there presents known.

Things got a little hectic after that day and I never made a mental note to come back and post all the pictures and say thank you to you all.

Most of all for driving all the way down there and being told we couldn't donate was devastating, even now as I am writing I feel sad that I couldn't donate that day ....lol, all the sad faces meant we couldn't donate because our iron was low. This day there was more sad faces and so we just cheered for the ones that could.

All the Rally Monkey's filled the waiting room it was awesome to come together to donate for Marco that day. I hope that maybe we can all get together and donate to help all those cancer patient at City of Hope and help save a life with donating blood and maybe making it a yearly thing. Maybe in February some time, let me know if its something you guys would be willing to do and we can even do it where we all go together...

Thank you everyone.....WE LOVE YOU ALL!!

Never To Late For A Reaction....I Guess

2012-01-12T01:33:00.011-05:00

Yesterday, we had a visit from nurse Alex (a guy) very nice, while Larry was out. As he was doing his evaluation he was asking Marco about his surgeries and where he is right now.It always seems to puzzle people to hear Marco's long history with cancer.

They just all shake their heads in disbelief of everything Marco has had to deal with in the
past 4 and a half years. At the end of the the history run down they always ask....How are you dealing with all this now? Well, what do they expect him to say...okay Marco says ...it is what it is and that is pretty much it.

Then they look at me with a sad face and ask and how are you holding up?....why do they have to give me a sad face...now that puzzles me. I think, I give them that look like, what do you think? How would you feel? So I give then Marco's answer..which is"okay". We are okay, we have been dealing with it for so long and we have known what the prognosis would be and how aggressive the cancer is with no known cure as of yet. We have been put in the situation to understand and be okay with it, I guess. Sometimes, I think if we should be reacting differently to justify the sad face reaction.

As I hear Marco telling him his history with cancer, it just starts to boil my blood to play it all back. Its just ridiculous, it makes no sense even trying to comprehend all this shit. It makes me mad, after not being able to have a reaction to the brain tumor for so long, I guess it just started to build up now and I wasn't able to let it out before.

I find myself feel so overwhelmed with emotions at times, I feel mad, sad, so upset I don't know what to do with myself....but I take my ass to the bathroom and cry.

It gets pretty overwhelming at times, when Marco and I talk about "If something happens"
scenarios. We need to prepared for anything, but some of the shit is just crazy.
I always say I am holding everything up (or at least I try) from one corner I
have Marco, on the other the kids, the other corner the family as a whole and
the last corner all the scared shit-less and worries we all carry and then there is
me ..... holding all the structure on the inside, knees shaking trying to hold all of it together.

Marco woke up with a slight headache this morning, which has come and gone. My first reaction would have been to get on the phone and call Dr. Trisal, Dr. Chow at COH but I know we have to call hospice if it gets worse. So keeping an eye on that.

His appetite has not been as good as it has been but he eats enough to to say he had something to eat. He has been feeling very tried, but he tries his best to get out of the bed to get at least something done...like going to pick up the kids (no he is not driving, he is on strong medication) doing little things here and there and getting some paper work done for " if something should happen" kind of stuff. But all in all okay..........

We try our best to take it one day at a time and keep it together.

Looking Back and Reflecting On The Important Things

2012-01-09T00:11:00.004-05:00

Marco has been trying to do his best to scrounge some energy get out the house lately. Each day it looks like he has to ask the right side for permission and then his left side thinks about it and by that time it is noon. But all in all, he seems to be doing okay aside for not having much of an appetite lately, he says he just isn't hungry.

The new year has been quiet thus far, but I just can't help to think of the shitty year we had in 2011. To many things, the beginning of the year we lost our home that we lived in for 14 years. We were sad to let it go, but we didn't have a choice. I always said as long as we are all together it was ok it was just a house, but it proved me wrong. I had a hard time with it. But it was for the better, just glad Salt-N-Pepper and Medicated Man took us in.

Marco had his last surgeries in his lung followed by the brain tumor which caught us off guard, from one day to the next. We said our good-byes to COH, which has been so good to us. All the doctors that helped Marco through his cancer surgeries, Dr. Vijay Trisal, Dr.Warren Chow, Dr. Fredrick Grannis, Dr. Yen Chen, Dr. Tan, all the nurses in the radiation dept., all the super nurses in 4-West, Lee the maintance technician and the valet guys, Estella from the positive image center, Amy and Daisy and Marisol who helped us all through the emotional roller coaster our kids were dealing with, their kind words and easy way of explaining things were helpful too, everyone was amazing.
I sometimes miss that place, not for Marco to have treatment, but for all the people we had the pleasure to meet.

Then having to be told that there was nothing else that could be done for Marco at COH was heart breaking and it left us frozen to say the least. It was as if someone had punched you in the stomach. Even though it was something we knew was coming it was hard to swallow, even now.

The hard thing about it is that we don't know what lies ahead, what will happen or how will it happen and that is the scary part. We all worry when Marco is not feeling good, looks tired, we are all just keeping an eye on him all the time. I am sure it gets on Marco's last nerve, but we tell him we just love him so much we want to make sure he is okay at all times.

His equilibrium has been way off at times and his vision he says it worse at times so I told him whether he likes it or not we all have our eyes on him.

There is just so much that needs to be done for Larry (nurse) and yet I can't seem to get that stuff done. It ain't easy trying to make funeral arrangements and videos and all. This has to be one of the hardest things to do right now. I had asked Surviving 3 under 5 to please help me and go to the cemetery and get information for us.
She said she had a hard ass time getting her shit together, I could only imagine me going there. TERRIBLE but she cowgirl'd up and did a great job in getting exactly what we asked of her.

So here I think I am in the clear....so for a couple of months now I was under the understanding that when shit hit the fan we would call these people and we were ready to go...noooooo. I fix the cemetery information card on the hospice folder for Larry and I let him know the other day that this is the card with information to call and it would be good to go. So he asked so it everything done chosen and paid for...I told him.."no.." lol. He says ok, you need to get it all done so all I have to do is call and everything is taken care of and I don't have to ask you a million question cause you will not have a clue or the mentality to answer any question if anything should happen.

Let me tell you, its not something I or we want to do or care to do but we know it needs to get done so that is my goal this month to get that shit done. Marco has given his input of what he wants and how he would like it, and its just so weird to us to be talking about it while he is still alive.

I do recommend that you all let your loved ones know what you want and don't want for your funeral arrangements and have it all done before you are forced to do it. Same thing with your living wills and estate shit....get it done and you avoid all the emotional roller coaster trying to get it done while your still alive.

Tell the people in your life how you feel and say I love you to your mother, brothers and sister, wife and husbands and kids and enjoy every day, sometimes time is not on your side and the days go by so fast you wish you had the power to slow it down to slow motion but in reality that can't be done so enjoy one day at a time.

"Good night, just want to tell you, I LOVE YOU GUYS, just in case I don't wake up in the morning." -Marco
"I love you too dad" -DLP
"I love you more" -Me
"But I love him most" -Matthew

As Best We Could..To Get Over The Holidays

2012-01-03T03:03:00.003-05:00

Well we got over the holidays as best we could. A lot of emotions flowing around here these days but just taking it one day at a time. We were glad to be home and just taking it easy.

The morphine that Marco was put on seems to be doing its job in not giving him great pain he was experiencing a couple of weeks ago. Which we are very glad about.

We hope everyone had a great holiday and that you all cherished the time with all your families and your loved ones.

We hope the new year brings eveyone good health.

I say...Burst of Energy ....Marco says....Feeling 6% Better....

2011-12-19T22:49:00.005-05:00

Marco has been doing a little better, especially if he takes it easy and doesn't over due himself. He still has trouble breathing and depending on what he does it can tire him out. Its been crazy these last couple of weeks. Marco really thought that he was going to kick the bucket when the pain was so severe he couldn't breath or move for that matter on that Monday 11/28.

Its been a week that his fevers have been gone and just over four days that the sweating episodes have gone as well. It just so worrisome, to see what is going on but I can't do a damn thing about it ,but tried to bring the fevers down and tried to keep him warm while he was cold yet sweating.

I am glad that "for now " he is doing okay. So far the morphine that they have him on is doing a great job maintaining that horrible pain he had 4 weeks ago.
But we know that there is still something going on and its a matter of time before something trigger it because the morphine won't be enough to cover it anymore, but I am very vigilant and checking him every couple of hours throughout the night. Just glad he is not in any pain, which is our main concern.

On Saturday, We all wanted to go to my grama's house for the posada so,I told Marco if we really wanted to go surprise the cousin that he had to rest and take it easy in order for him to be ok for a little bit. We were all so excited to see him wanting to go. I could just imagine how they all felt see him too.

Our family is so wonderful...in so many ways. You all have gone far and beyond and we appreciate it very much.

We have come so far and have gone through so much and there you are. You are all amazing!

Take My Breath Away.....

2011-12-07T02:33:00.000-05:00

Fevers since last Monday 11/28/2011 seem to last, less than other days. The sweating, we thought had passed but the last two nights were even worse. The blankets on top and bottom have been soaked and it just leaves a silhouette on the bed from head to toe.

Marco's right leg has been swollen for the last past 3 days with some edema, which means that if I grab anywhere on his leg I leave a deep impression of my fingers on his leg. Could be from water retention or who knows.

Marco's seemed to have some energy the last two days where he went to go get the mail and of course has shortness of breath by the time he comes back in the house, took out the trash and again losing his breath in the process. We did manage to get him out of the house the other day to take a small walk in Target. That just lead to him feeling really tired and out of breath but he would say he was fine. As he is trying to catch his breath.

Tonight he went to go take a shower and he came out just winded, you could see in his face he was having trouble trying to catch his breath. He still tries to do the most he can in the day which is good but he pays for it later, which is not good.

He says he needs to take it easy now, taking a breath is a challenge. Says the man who wanted to race me to the door, to the car, to the truck , yeah right ......

Hoping, Marco has a better night tonight, so far fever is up a bit and started to sweat early today so will see how it goes tonight.

Small Break From The Fever.....Till Now....

2011-12-06T00:52:00.005-05:00

Its been a long scary week ....Marco's fevers are still high since a week ago today, last night and early this morning he was so cold he was woken up by sweating episode you would of thought I threw water on him. There was no pain or fever at the time which was weired. He has been having stomach spasms at night with chills and he gets so cold he has a slight shiver. Its hard to try to keep him warm without getting his temp to high that it takes longer to bring down.

After having 3 extremely sweating episodes it seemed to give him a long break from the fever, till just now. He was even up for awhile out of bed which was good. But as soon as the fever starts to creep up you can see if takes a toll on him. We all hope he has a better night to sleep and relax a little.

The morphine seems to be keeping the pain under control but the pain has to be very high that he still feels some soreness in his lungs and chest. the medication is working and at the same time you know that the stupid ass cancer is still growing inside and forming havic in his body.

His breathing is getting better without using the oxygen tank but he is taking it easy, because his breathing can change at any time without warning.

Thank you everyone for all your well wishes and positive vibes.

High Fevers and Pain

2011-12-01T11:46:00.004-05:00

Its been a couple of tough days for Marco. His fevers have gotten pretty high in the last couple of days, it got to the point yesterday that I called hospice to ask how the hell to get the fever down. Nothing was working all damn day. She said I had to place ice packs under his arm and cold towels on his forehead, and call her in an hours to see if it was going down. One hour later it went down but was still on the high side. She told me to wait and start again for another hour till it went down. His fever all day never dropped passed 100.5 highest was 102.2, so we continued with the ice till 1am and by 4 am it seemed to be going down.

This morning I was happy the fever had gone down, but once he started to move to get out of bed his pain shot up and so did the fever. I really hope he gets a break today, he is still having a hard time talking without losing his breath but at times it seems that its better. As long as the pain is okay....his breathing is alright. Hoping for a better day today.

From One Day To Another

2011-11-29T23:15:00.004-05:00

A lot has happened since last weekend. We had a great time in Las Vegas with Marco's sisters Moshura's Sister,Leezy, Momma M , Salt N Pepper and Medicated Man. But all the fun came to a stop and we had to come come early because Marco started to have pain on his right side followed by shortness of breath. We came home and Larry the hospice nurse came soon after we arrived from Vegas. He ordered an oxygen machine to see if it would help him breathe better.

Well Thanksgiving Day Marco was feeling good and he decided to BBQ his famous turkey and roasted another while my mom made hers in the oven. They all came out perfect and delish...not to mention all the side.

Last night, Marco had a bad night with fever and severe pain it would take his breath away. He could hardly speak 2 to 3 words when he was trying to catch his breath. He started to take his medication every four hours as directed on the bottle. His fever kept spiking up but didn't seem to be going down. The pain reach 9-10 level (tear point).

Finally, this morning we called Larry and he rushed over. After talking with him he ordered a bed for Marco and changed his medication. The pain just seems to take his breath away and there is nothing I can do. This afternoon he started to take his new medication and it seemed to work a little but tonight the fevers have been spiking up again highest tonight 103.5. Had him jump into the shower to try to bring it down so will see how the night goes.

Marco says he feels something going on in his lung. We all just hope that the pain is under control and it will make everything okay.

I made a promise to Marco that if at anytime it was getting rough for him...with pain, breathing that I would let everyone know that there would be no visiting. Having to talk, when he has to catch his breath is not easy to see, so I will not be putting him through that. I am asking that all visit be postponed till further notice. I would expect everyone to understand. Thank you in advance.

Celebrated Our 19th Anniversary

2011-11-14T09:47:00.001-05:00

Marco and I have known each other for 32 years and have been married for 19. Just seems like yesterday we were saying I DO! We have learned to appreciate each other and literally enjoy what we have, one day at a time. We have something special and we treasure that always.

I was an amazing weekend. We arrived at the gorgeous Beverly Hills Montage Hotel. The room was so beautiful, the bed had rose pedals sprinkled. The view was great from the room overlooking Canyon Drive. Soon after we were surprised by the strawberry arrangement above the most yummiest strawberries ever! Even Marco was tearing these things up.

Thank you Mari and Vivianna for making this a memorable 19th Anniversary, without you two this wouldn't be in our reach.

Marco was able to take some pictures of us before going out to dinner to the Blue Plate Oysterette in Santa Monica were Vivianna works. The food there is amazing, the flavors are just so savory. We loved everything there. Everyone was just so nice.

Happy 19th Anniversary ................you are my friend, my best friend..........my life..........................
I LOVE YOU,with all my HEART!

Enrolled......

2011-11-05T12:37:00.003-04:00

Marco is now enrolled in hospice care as of Friday. By no means does this say that something is going on now...this just states that he is now admitted to their services and care when needed. Marco so far is going good, he still has pain in his left side due to his previous surgergies and has slight pressure in his head from his brain surgery done in Sept. All is under control so far with his regular medication. Having to leave COH is a bitter sweet feeling, it has been our home far away from home when ever Marco needed treatment. We are so thankful to everyone there that is forsure.

We had a great surprise by Leezy who drove her ass all the way up here to visit. We knew you could do it! Glad to see you this weekend, we had a nice time. Abuelita just looked like she needed a beer or two after they arrived but overall she said it was a good drive.

We would like to thank everyone for all your well wishes and for being supportive. We truly appreciate everyone of you. WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Cancer | Palliative Care

2011-11-03T11:26:00.002-04:00

Cancer Palliative Care
What is palliative care?
Palliative care is designed to help a person have the best possible quality of life as his or her cancer progresses. The focus of palliative care is not on dying or trying to find a cure. Instead the focus is on living each remaining day as fully as possible.

The following are the main goals of palliative care:
To relieve pain and other symptoms
To help improve emotional, mental and spiritual well-being
To support the family members of the person who has cancer during his or her illness and after his or her death

Palliative care involves a partnership between the person who has cancer, his or her family and friends, and the members of the health care team. This team may include the services of a doctor, nurse, social worker, counselor and spiritual advisor.

Where is palliative care provided?
Palliative care can be provided at home or in a hospital or hospice facility. It may be possible to receive care at home for a while and then move into a hospital or hospice facility as the cancer progresses. If a person prefers to receive care at home, family members may want to ask the doctor for information on local support programs.

How can palliative care relieve pain and other symptoms?
As a person's cancer advances, he or she may experience a number of symptoms. These symptoms may include pain, loss of appetite, fatigue, weakness, weight loss, constipation, trouble breathing, confusion, nausea, vomiting, cough and a dry or sore throat. All of these symptoms can be managed with appropriate treatment. A person who has cancer shouldn't try to "be strong" and tolerate pain or other symptoms. This can have a negative effect on the person's physical and emotional state. A person who has cancer should tell the doctor about any symptoms he or she is having.

Pain is one of the most common symptoms experienced by people who have cancer. Even if it is severe, the pain can almost always be controlled with medicine. Each person responds to pain differently. The doctor will create a pain management plan that meets the person's needs. Pain medicines can be given by mouth (liquid or pill) or through the rectum (suppository). They can also be given through the skin (transdermal patch) or injected into the skin, a muscle or a vein. The caregiver should know that chronic (ongoing) pain needs to be treated on a regular schedule. It is important not to wait until the person feels pain before giving the next dose, even if this means waking him or her up in the middle of the night.

For some people, the doctor may prescribe an opioid medicine, such as morphine or codeine, to relieve pain. Opioid pain medicines often cause constipation (difficulty having bowel movements), so the person who has cancer may also need to take another medicine on a regular basis to prevent this common side effect.

It may take several tries for the doctor to find the most effective way to ease pain symptoms. The person in pain shouldn't feel discouraged if a particular approach doesn't work. The doctor needs to know about the person's preferences for how pain symptoms are managed. Helping to direct the course of his or her care may help the person who has cancer feel more in control of the situation.

How can a person who has cancer prepare to face the end of life?
Palliative care offers the opportunity to find peace of mind by facing feelings and beliefs about life and death. Each person must find meaning in his or her own way, at his or her own pace. Some people find comfort in talking with a close friend, family member, spiritual advisor, counselor or support group about their feelings.

How will family members react to palliative care?
As the death of a loved one grows near, each family member will react differently. It is common to experience a range of emotions, such as anger, shock, anxiety and helplessness. There is no single "right way" to deal with this situation. Family members should try to accept one another's different responses and feelings. Also, they should keep in mind that emotions don't follow a time schedule. Just because one person is ready to move on to the next stage of grieving doesn't mean everyone else is. As part of palliative care, it's important for family members to make the most of the time they have with their loved one rather than focusing on his or her death.

What else should a person do when preparing to face the end of life?
Palliative care offers an opportunity to make practical preparations for death. This can be a very difficult process. However, dealing with these matters in advance can reduce the financial, legal and emotional problems that a person's family and friends will face after his or her death. It also gives the person who has cancer some control over his or her situation. For example, preparing a will allows a person to decide how his or her possessions are divided. During this time, the person who has cancer may want to organize any records, documents and instructions that family members will need after his or her death.

A person who is facing the end of life may want to make his or her wishes regarding a funeral or memorial service known. If these preferences are discussed with family members, the funeral or memorial service can be a very personal reflection of the person's life and how he or she wants to be remembered. Careful planning can also reduce some of the stress that family members experience after their loved one's death.

Written by familydoctor.org editorial staff
Reviewed/Updated: 09/10Created: 06/02

Not An Easy Transition

2011-10-31T13:49:00.007-04:00

When we first found out that Marco had cancer in 2007, we didn't know what the hell to do. We first went through disbelief, and we just came out of the doctor's office with those words said to us….."YOU HAVE CANCER." We knew then that we were in for a fight and in for the long haul, no matter where the road would lead us. It has not been an easy road at all.

We have always been very open between ourselves, with our kids and with everyone.
Our world, as we knew it, came to a standstill, and we have never looked back. We
were shifted into the world of cancer and all of its realities.

We knew that Marco would be fighting for his life. We knew that this type of cancer was un-cure-able and extremely aggressive. Aware that one day it would take his life.

Each surgery was life and death, each surgery meant we had more time to take advantage of, each surgery Marco knew the risks that he was facing and with each one we were more afraid than the last one. Each chemo he tolerated and dealt with the side effects. Chemo and radiation came with its risk and he would take them, even though he didn’t want too. He has faced so much and has had to deal with a lot.

We were aware of the 2mm nodule in his right lung seen last June when Dr.Trisal and his team discovered it. It would have been in October that he would have had a scan appointment, but due to the brain tumor that was detected and removed after Labor Day weekend, all of those scans were canceled due to metastasis to the brain, and this would change everything. The chest scan taken in ETC when the brain tumor was diagnosed showed the tumor in his right lung to be approx. 8mm. That is 6 mm larger. Due to the very aggressive nature of this disease and that several recurrences and metastasis to the brain and right lung have occurred, the Sarcoma Team at City of Hope have exhausted all treatment options to prolong Marco’s life.

Since COH is a treatment facility and there are no more treatments, Marco has been referred to hospice care. He will be enrolling in hospice care in a couple of days…which means that he will now be in their care for whatever is needed. He will be observed and treated only for pain management to make him comfortable and help us all with the next transition in his life. Marco looks and feels good right now, other than for the pain for previous surgery and he continues to have his postitive motivation and attitude no matter what.

We don't ponder on what will happen. We just take it one day at a time and enjoy
what he have. We face each day with positive vibes, a kiss, a smile, a tears and a laugh as we have been all these years.

Getting Our Pumpkins Ready

2011-10-24T15:57:00.004-04:00

Machini hard at work getting his pumpkin carved out
The kids did such a great job with their pumpkins
Grandma wanted Curious George...I tried my best...lol
This one is Machini's who wanted something really scary
Looks scary even when the the lights on

We hope everyone has a safe and Spooktacular Halloween!

Mini Hawk

2011-10-24T15:17:00.006-04:00

Saturday 10/22/2011

This week seemed like Marco was shedding off more hair than normal. Leaving a trail of hair everywhere on the pillow and especially on his shirts all the time. Well today he went to take a shower and as he came out and settled to go to bed he turned a certain way and all you saw was a bald spot just to the right of his left ear not to far from his incision. I leaned closer and most of the hair was gone. I reached in to feel around the area and more hair started to fall. Marco went to go tug on his hair and a chunck came out.

I told him I had to cut his hair, his response "Does that means I have to take another shower". Uh, yeah.... so I started to cut his hair and avoiding as much as I could not to get close to the stitches and staples still in his head. So now his is semi-bald till the stitches and staples come out on Friday so I can finish shaving it all.

Looks like a mini-mini hawk

Marco just seems to take everything in stride. While it just makes me angry that he has to deal with this on top of everything else.

Busy Week It Has Been.....

2011-10-24T11:45:00.000-04:00

We had an appointment with Dr. Chow recently to confirm what we already knew that there would be no more chemo and no more surgeries. We hope that it doesn't come back, if it ain't there already. So far Marco is doing good, we continue to enjoy and take it one day at a time.

Marco will be having his stitches and staples removed from his head this Friday.. He has been waiting for awhile now and is anxious to get those things out. He started to loose some of his hair due to the radiation. I need to cut all his hair off and just sport a semi-balled look cause the radiation only affected one side, oppose to his hair falling off during his chemo which made all the hair fall off. Any which way his still look handsome to me.

Gianina is starting to feel better after they removed what they thought was a cyst turned out to be a "fatty" tumor on her upper breast area. They said not to worry about it , yeah tell that to a regular person. We worry about anything looking like a lump of any kind. So, I made sure to keep reminding them to take it to pathology to get it checked anyway. Results came back benign,negative. Stitches for her came out and she needs to wear special bandage to make sure no scar.

Abuelita (Marco's mom) gave us a fright recently. She ended up in the hospital with very low blood surgar and a stroke. Scary thought of what could of happend and just happy it turned out well.

Walking for Cypress Academy Fundraiser

2011-10-23T13:24:00.000-04:00

Marco and Machini posing before the walk at Cypress Academy 10/14/2011
Machini ran the first lap and left Marco and myself behind to fend for ourselves
Marco was able to complete a lap and said I will wait for you in the shade right
after this picture was taken. At least he did one lap.

Machini did a good job and completed about 20 laps. Great Job!
Machini was really excited that we were able to show up to his walk.

He even called from the office to make sure we didn't miss it.

Thank you to all who supported Machini in his walk, he will be having lunch

with his principal Mrs. Seegar later in the school year.

Possible Phase 1 Trial

2011-10-11T00:19:00.003-04:00

Saw Dr. Chow today, there may be a Phase 1 Trial that Marco could participate in. There is a waiting list for it though. It may take 4-6 weeks if not sooner, before we hear anything. In the mean time we wait. Marco will be getting his stitches out next week along with the staples in his head.

Message From My Sister Ericka.....

2011-10-08T22:32:00.006-04:00

Hi Guys,

It's Ericka. I was planning a Cancer Awareness Week Proposal and was looking around for goodies to sell and started messing around with shirts. Then I got to thinking and creating and BAM! We have a shirt to show our support for Marco. We will be ordering shirts soon, so please commit and send your money to me so we can get these sweet shirts ordered. Please send message to bluebay069@msn.com to get address to mail in your order and payment.

I will be placing orders for TWO different color shirts. --- You can order both( that would be awesome) or just one.

Black or Grey T-Shirt come in sizes YOUTH ys - yl and ADULT S-XXXL each shirt is $20.00 -
Grey Hoodie Sweater sizes as mentioned above is $35.00
We will be donating all proceeds to City of Hope. City of Hope has truly given us hope and slowly but surely we shall give back.
Get your orders in SOON please so we can get these shirts in quick.

ORDER DEADLINE EXTENDED TO : OCTOBER 28th 2011

Thanks Bunches. - ericka

Last Radiation and Talon Screws Removed Today

2011-10-07T19:32:00.003-04:00

Marco had his last brain radiation, all went well. Marco did mention to the tech today, that towards the end of the treatment he was seeing like a strobe light affect while in the machine. He would close his eyes and still see it even more. The tech told him it was normal for him to see that because the radiation was in his vision area. Not to worry. So, I asked today if he saw it and he said yes. But since they told us it was normal we didn't worry about it, cause it would go away shortly after he noticed it.

Marco's next appointment was to go to the ETC to have the talon screw removed. The truth I was a little worried of how they were going to remove them. I did figure a screwdriver would be involved somehow. But the great nurses in ETC sure new how to calm someones nerves. They are too funny The video says a lot of what was going on. Marco was not in any pain throughout the whole thing. He did very well and Rosalind did a great job. City of Hope has some amazing people working there.

The incisions are not that big, there are three staples closing them and they all look really good. He will be finishing up all his anti-seizure medication and then will no longer need them. We just need to watch him in case of anything but we hope nothing happens this weekend, we did see Dr. Chen after the ETC appointment and he told Marco that everything went well as far as the 3 radiation treatments and if he feels anything out of the ordinary he needs to call them quick but he didn't see he would have any problems. Let's hope so. We are so glad that those talon screws are out...maybe he can get some sleep now without really worrying if he would lean his head the wrong way and land on them.

The stitches will be taken out in 2 weeks which by then the staples will be removed as well. The only thing bugging Marco right now is the lifting limit...nothing over 10lbs.....so that mean he has to wait yet another 2 weeks before he can even think about......yes I am going to say it .....GO FISHING!!!!!!! He has been wanting to go since before his surgery to catch the big one that got away on his last trip.

But he has patience, he knows he can't go till he is good to go. Tonight all is well, Marco asked for some extra medication cause he is starting to feel some pain ,I guess the anesthesia has worn off and after tolerating it he need to have his medication. But all in all he is doing good, just looks and feels tired.

Thank you again to everyone for all your positive thought and well wishes we do appreciate them all.

NEXT APPOINTMENT: With Dr. Chow for follow up on Monday 10-10-2011 will let you know how that goes.

Appointments Cancelled

2011-10-03T20:46:00.002-04:00

MRI and CT Scan were cancelled today, after an exchange of emails with Dr. Trisal this weekend. We let him know that he is doing radiation and he had the talon screws in. He recommended that we wait till the radiation is complete so we could reschedule the appointment.

All in all he is doing good, he hasn't had any side effects to the radiation. We hope it stays that way even after his last treatment on Friday, October 6th, they will be removing his talon screws at the end of the day too. He will be having his second radiation treatment tomorrow.

Marco has left the walker behind and is now using a cane. He has been trying to get rid of it too but, it may take a little more time to leave that one behind.

Brain Radiation Started Today

2011-10-01T00:30:00.004-04:00

This morning I woke up nervous, nervous that Marco would start radiation to the brain. You would think this is something serious but once we got to COH the nervousness went away because I knew he was in good hands. I walked to the back with Marco as the Radiation Tech explained to Marco what was going to happen once he was in the room. I was able to take some pictures of the machine that Marco would be using for his 3 treatments.

This is the Tomo Therapy Machine that Marco will be placed in while getting his treatments. They had to place him on the table and they aliened him with the beam of lights.

Marco was waiting for the tech to come in and screw him on to the table to keep him from moving and to pin point were the radiation would be given. These machines are amazing.

Marco will lay on this table for approximately 1hr 30min but from the tech said only 16min would be actual radiation therapy. There are specialist who come in and out while the procedure is being performed to make sure everything is accurate and all is going well.

The tech had placed and aliened the screws on his head to the table and tightened them and made sure everything was good to go.

This is a picture of Marco in his position were he would stay without moving till radiation therapy would be completed.

Its hard to see Marco having to deal with these talon screws in his head. Tonight, Marco said he was very tired and has a headache 3 out of 10, I gave him some medication and it seemed to work for him, so that is good he may be able to sleep tonight. Next radiation will be on Tue. but Monday he has a busy day with lab work, MRI and CT Scan for Dr. Trisal and Dr. Chow.

Radiation Set Up

2011-09-27T02:01:00.004-04:00

Today was a long day at City of Hope. Marco's day started with an MRI of the brain. Followed by an out-patient mini surgery that lasted all of 45 sec. the 1hr and 30min was for prepping time. Dr Jandial said that he was going to place some tiny screws on his head for radiation treatment that will be starting this week. I was under the impression that the screws were small. I was shock to say the least, they are bigger than I imagined but ok. They gave him a little bit of sedative for the surgery, so he looked good when we went in after they were finished. The nurse said she didn't need to give him medication because he didn't have pain.

Later in the afternoon we met up with Fernando the Radiation Oncology Tech who took Marco to the back and thoroughly explained what the procedure would in tail. He's a funny guy, he did a great job in distracting Marco and myself from all the screwing he was doing on his head. It all looked like it hurt Marco's head but he said he was alright.

Looking at all the pictures just makes me think of all the shit Marco has been dealing with. Not to mention that his right leg has been bothering him since Sunday morning. I can't help but stress when ever Marco is in any kind of pain. He has an appointment next week for his MRI of his right leg, Marco wanted to wait till then to have it checked, hoping it does fall off by then.

The pain just doesn't seem to let him have a break. The pictures in the video say it all ....it is what it is so we deal with what come our way.

Marco will be starting his first radiation this week and will have 3 radiation treatments to the brain that will last 1hr and 30min each time. Once radiation is over they will remove the screws. He will continue to take his anti-seizure medication and now has to take some antibotics. Will keep you posted as updates come up.

We would like to Thank you again for all the well wishes and all the positive vibes from each and everyone of you. We love and appreciate you all. THANK YOU AGAIN!

Marco's Brain Surgery Experience

2011-09-21T21:30:00.009-04:00

It's hard to put all of the emotions and feelings we were going through during this time. We have decided to share a short slide show and video of our experience. It's hard to believe it was one week ago today that Marco went in to have a brain tumor removed at City of Hope. We are happy to have him home and are preparing for the next steps, one day at a time...

A Message From Marco

2011-09-16T22:16:00.003-04:00

He wants to thank you for your well wishes and positive vibes. Wanted me to express that you all mean a great deal to him and how special everyone is.

Marco said "They all mean more to me than they all think. Their is no time to quit, only to move forward, I just didn't make it through, I am making it through, a little at a time.

Their is still a long road ahead but there is no slowing me down. So far everything went well and the fight continues with one more battle scar to show for it".

"Stupid Cancer it still hurts!" he says

Day 3

2011-09-16T02:07:00.002-04:00

Marco has been doing an amazing job. All his blood work and MRI look great. Doctor Jandial was so proud of his work. He was amazed at what Marco was doing, sitting up,walking and started to eat right away.

Doctor says everything on paper looks good and if it continue like this he could home tomorrow. Wish all goes well tonight so we can go home and rest.

Would like to thank everyone for everything. All your well wish and messages have been great and we appreciate it all. We love all you guys! Will post if Marco gets out tomorow

Day 2 After Brain Surgery

2011-09-16T02:01:00.002-04:00

Marco was transferred to a regular room at the end of the day. He was transferred to the old hospital. PT (physical therapy) came and started to do excerise with him to start moving.

He has been doing really well thus far and is improving every minute so it seems. The doctor came in and moved his bandage up far from his face. His face was swollen a little but in total his is doing good.

PT had him walking around. Great job so far!

Day 1 After Brain Surgery

2011-09-16T01:54:00.003-04:00

Marco has been leaving the doctor astonished of his amazing strength to get well. Less than 24 hrs after surgery Marco was out of bed and was sitting up. They stood him up and had start walking and Marco did what he knows best and that was to do what he has to do in order to get things done.

Marco's pain was starting to get under control but he was doing good. They had a compression bandage around his head to keep the pressure stable in his head. He said he felt like a huge truck hit him really hard in the back of his head. Marco was seeing blurry for a while but said it seemed to be getting better as the time went by.

Marco's Brain Surgery Update

2011-09-13T19:51:00.004-04:00

The doctor notified us around 3:10 pm today that the surgery went as planned with no complications. He received a large incision to his head where they removed the tumor. The surgeon explained that the surgery went without a hitch but a crucial part of the process has yet to occur: we have to be sure there are no clots, no pooling of blood and other critical post-op monitoring has to take place in ICU. We will wait for Marco to awaken, which may be for a few more hours and will update the blog.

Surgery Tomorrow

2011-09-12T16:52:00.006-04:00

City of Hope called today,surgery will be at 11:30am. Do to the nature of the surgery and that Marco will be in ICU the majority of the time. No visitors will be allowed. As hard as this is for everyone in the family I am glad they all understand. Marco's recovery comes first. Gianina and I will be keeping everyone updated here on the blog and on facebook.

I will be giving all messages and well wishes to Marco if you would like to leave one. We appreciate it all the positive vibes.

Brain Tumor?

2011-09-10T11:49:00.000-04:00

Marco's tumor is located in the left occipital lobe

It's been very hard to come in here and try to write. I know many of you have a lot of question one being....What happened?

Labor Day weekend was coming up and the plans were to buy Matthew a boogie board and go back to the beach. Matthew had, had such a great time with his cousins for Oceans of Hope we thought it was a grand idea. Momma M and Lisa had a surprise party for Machini waiting for him.

We packed our things and left to HP to spend the weekend on Friday 9/2. As we were driving down the hill, Marco looked over and just said he had a headache. "But, I don't know if its your country music your playing or the Phantom of the Opera the kids have playing in the back seat." But neither of them were loud, I found it weird because Marco has never complained about a headache before.

By the time we got to Mommas M, house in HP, Marco had a full blown major headache. As soon as the hello's were said he sat down on the sofa and was squinting his eyes of how bad the headache was. He thought his next dosage of medicine would take care of it.

We left to Leezy's house where were staying for the weekend. Saturday morning Marco woke up fine, no headache, nothing. We all left to the beach, but couldn't get in to use the boogie board because it was hazardous conditions. We still enjoyed the beach and watched the surfers riding the waves. We left after a couple of hours back to Leezy's house.

Sunday morning, again Marco woke up fine and we were commenting on how weird that headache showed up and was gone. He continued to be fine all day till, 3am on Monday morning.

Marco was tossing and turning, so I asked what was going on and he said, "the headache was back, but with a vengance." I asked what his pain level was? "5," that is a 5 out of 10 pain level. As I am looking at him in massive pain, I know it is more like a 8-9. Marco was rubbing his forehead, he got up out of the bed to go to the bathroom and he starts knocking into the bed and then the wall. "Are you ok?!" I asked him and he replied, "the walls are moving in here."

After taking a shower, Marco starts to yell my name so I rush over there and he tells me he lost his peripheral vision in his right eye. I thought he was kidding, but when I looked at his face he looked concerned. We went to Mommas for breakfast and to spend the day. By the time we got to her house Marco was in so much pain. I had mentioned to him that I was going to call Dr. Trisal, or make an appointment with the eye doctor to have his eyes checked, but because it was Labor Day weekend they were all be closed. I decided to write Dr. Trisal an e-mail, I explaining all of Marco's symptoms and if COH could do something or wait till the next day to make an appointment with his eye doctor. Dr. Trisal replied right a way and said Marco needed an MRI of the brain and to take him in the next day. If his symptoms got any worse to take him into the ETC. WHAT?!

Why would he want an MRI of the brain, I just thought it was weird at first, but then I got scared and my heart started to race. I was hoping that Dr. Trisal didn't think there was something and I was hoping he was doing it out of precaution. We left after breakfast that Monday morning because Marco was not looking good. By the time we got home, the headache was full blown, he was rubbing his head and trying to find a way to alleviate the pain. He was rubbing so hard he left red marks on his forehead. There was nothing I could do....the medication wasn't working and Marco wanted to wait till the next day to go in.

After a bad night, morning finally came and so I was getting ready, Gianina said she was going with us. I went to drop off Matthew at school, when I got back, I noticed Marco was on the phone and just said yes and he hung up. So he turns to me and says it was Dr. Trisals nurse, "I told her I had a severe headache," so I asked if he mentioned all the other symptoms and he said "I told her I have a severe headache," he paused, looked at me and said, "that is all I can remember." "What do you mean that is all you can remember,you just hung up with her," I told him. "Call her back," he says "I can't remember what we talked about." I thought that was weird, so I called her back and left a message to get in contact with me as soon as possible because his symptoms were getting worse now he couldn't remember what just happened.

So I told Marco lets go maybe they can see you sooner by the time we get down there and I can talk to the nurse on the way down the hill. As he was getting up from the bed he started to throw up. Panic wanted to kick in, but I kicked it to the side and said let go. Got everyone in the car and left. Half way to the freeway Marco said he felt like he was on a boat for DAYS and throws up again. He blamed it on my driving, but I thought it something else. Carrie, Dr. Trisal's nurse, called me just before we were getting on the freeway and said she wanted Marco to go to the lab, go to get his MRI and then instructed me to take him to ETC for observation. Okkaaaayyyy....labs done, they call him in for MRI and the nurse allowed me to go in with him, I stood right behind the wheel chair where he was sitting. (Yes, we had to take Marco into COH on a wheel chair, you know how much pain he was in if agreed to sit in a wheel chair) The nurse starts to ask Marco yes or no questions, but when it came to answer "have you had surgery and how many?" All Marco did was rub under his surgery area and say "left...left," I jumped in and said yes and mentioned all the surgeries and were it was located. Then Marco says oh yeah. That left me worried and hoping even by this time that it wasn't what we both thought it could be. Finally the MRI was done. I wheeled him into the ETC where they were waiting for him. The nurse told us Dr. Chow would be seeing Marco, I was surprised. She said Dr. Chow would be filling in for Dr. Trisal who was in surgery. After a little wait, I could hear Dr.Chow down the hall way and I whispered to Marco that he was coming. Marco says, "Dr. Chow how are you?" "Good Mr. Mendez," when he turns to acknowledge me I knew, I could see it in his face. My heart fell....he came in and asked How his fishing was going and then the conversation was about their fishing stories and Dr. Chow takes his phone out and shows Marco the fish he caught, I began to relax and thought it was just me and the look he had was nothing.

Then he says, "okay, now I am coming in for Dr. Trisal and I have to read the results of the MRI to you." WHAT! I knew it....Dr. Chow is the barer of bad news. (I like to say I have a LOVE and HATE relationship with the man. LOVE him for all the chemo cocktail he gave Marco to shrink the previous tumors. And for standing up and fighting for Marco on the sidelines. And the HATE that I can read his face when he comes carring bad new cause I can read him like a book.)

He tells Marco that the reason he has been having severe headaches is because there is a tumor the size of a golf ball in his brain. And it needs to come out, he goes on to say we would meet Dr. Jandial to see when the surgery would take place. After a while, they ordered medication to take his pain away and gave him anti-seizure medication. By the time we left Marco had no more pain. They scheduled brain surgery, told us to take precautions in case of seizure, and gave Marco medications to bring down the swelling of the brain. There were some pre-op test done and have had to return to COH for further testings before surgery. Will post

Anxious

2011-09-09T08:53:00.004-04:00

Last night, while Marco and I are writing question that we had for the surgeon for today's appointment. Matthew walks in and lays in bed with us, looks at me with slight teary eyes and says. Can you make an appointment with Marisol please, I need to talk with her. I could see that he was upset and wanted to talk.

I asked why he needed to talk with her and he said I just want to understand what is going on with my dad and want to talk with her. So I told him he had Daisy to talk with and he says Um.....I don't know. Looked like he wanted to talk with Marisol, who had showed him what was going on with Marco's cancer by hands on teaching and he liked that. I told him Daisy was there to listen to anything that bothers him if he felt he couldn't talk with us. He says I can talk with you guys but I need to understand.

So I tell him Daisy would probably start by asking you How are you Machini? As I ask in a Daisy tone......Machini says "okay". So Machini, give me three words that would describe how you feel inside. Machini turns to me and says SAD,WORRIED, and ANXIOUS (this is a big word for him). Gianina comes in the room and jumps on to the bed and hugs Machini as she usually does....as I continue to ask...
Why to you feel sad? Machini's reply "Because the cancer came back and he needs another surgery". What worries you? That something might go wrong, as tears start to poor down his face. You could see he was trying hard to hold the tears back. So I told him it was ok to cry and have all these feeling and that he was not alone every single one of us is feeling the same thing, especially your Daddy.

So why do you feel anxious? I don't know I just do.....tears rolling down his face. I realized something last night, Machini grew up. He was not excited about going to the Bistro to have a Club Sandwich as he rubbed his belly and licked his lips...like all the times before. At the tender age of 8 he is understanding now that the cancer coming back is not a good thing and how it is affecting us all, he is showing more feelings and interest in what is going on with Dad. He looked terrified. Gianina was hugging him. Its hard to see your kids grow up real quick in front of you. By that I mean having to deal with reality's of life that no one should be dealing with in life.

Gianina was 13 when Marco was first diagnosed and she grew up quick. I told Matthew, It's scary stuff to have to deal with when your a kid, so I told him if he ever felt like crying and he is in school not to worry about the kids and that he could count on his teacher to help out because she already knew what was going on, and he looked at me with a sigh of relieve in his face.

I called everyone's name in the family out loud and told him that each of them all felt the same way and that we were not alone and if he needed to talk to someone any of them would be more than happy to hear him out, they would let him cry on his should and give out great big hugs. Because everyone felt the same way and would understand.

I told him if he ever felt anger to let me know and I would stand there with a pillow so he could hit it till he couldn't no more and if that didn't work I would hold G in front of me and he could have a go at her. He laughed so hard.

Marco was on the bed listening to all that was being said. So I told Matthew that if he wanted to ask Marco if he was scared or any other question he could that is what your dad is there for. Ask him how he is doing? You can ask him anything and he will answer you.

Marco got up to sit at the edge of the bed so I asked Matthew to come around and give his dad a great big hug and say I am scared too. Marco told him that it was ok to feel scared, but we have to be fighters too and not give up, no matter how scary it may be.

Marco tells him the doctors at COH are smart and know what they are doing. Marco explained what happens when he is called in to the back before surgery and what happens when they start to put him to sleep (Machini looking way and covering his teary eyes) and then I wake up and its over he says but I will wake up with a big headache though. But don't worry everything will be ok.

Machini turns, looks at Marco and says I have one question thought and Marco says what is it? Machini replies can I go to sleep I am very tired......and we're back, the grown-up didn't last long.....lol

Just Numb

2011-09-07T00:50:00.002-04:00

Just numb would be the word to describe how I am feeling. I haven't been able to pinpoint why I can't scream to the top of my lungs ( in a soft spoken manner, mind you) don't even see these word with exclamation marks either.

Just can't seem to let the words " the reason you have been having the severe headache and have lost most of your eye sight from your left eye is because you have a brain tumor the size of a golf ball". What do you do with that? We didn't fall apart,we didn't cry hysterically, I just reached over and hugged my handsome.
There is nothing you can do at that moment but pick up your jaw from the floor and dust it off and ask what needs to be done. Things are happening to fast, in a blink of the eye so it seems.

I guess Adrenalin just kicks in, and you can move mountains. Do what needs to be done because it has to be done and focus because you need to pay extra attention to everything that is being said cause this is not cake walk now. This is bigger and I had to put my game face on. Well someone take this game face off cause I don't want it. I am frozen, I guess you can say. I can see myself writing stupid now.

I want to tell you all that happened but I am so tired and my mind is running all over the place and just that all over the place. Can't make sense of it all. But scream I do want to scream but it comes out as if I were to be reading out and not yelling it out.

Maybe tomorrow......

Let's Go Cheer and Support Ocean of Hope 2011

2011-08-05T02:21:00.001-04:00

Ocean of Hope Campaign
The Ocean of Hope campaign is the largest fundraising event of the year for The Sarcoma Alliance. Ocean of Hope (O2H) is a paddle board race held each year in August in conjunction with the Catalina Classic in Southern California. The 32-mile course begins at Catalina Island and finishes at the Manhattan Beach shoreline.

The O2H Campaign is a special group of paddlers who have annually volunteered to dedicate their race to the benefit of the Sarcoma Alliance and thousands of sarcoma patients and their families. Every yard, every mile, and every arm stroke, will be made in the hope that their passion and grit propels people to give to the Sarcoma Alliance this year.

Our goal is to raise awareness and funds for The Sarcoma Alliance so that we can continue our work of guidance, education, and support to sarcoma patients and their caregivers.

Contact The Alliance with questions or for more information about The Ocean of Hope Campaign by sending an email to info@sarcomaalliance.org.

Calling all Rally Monkey's.......Let's get together and have a lot of fun. Get you beach towel, swim suits, plus your picnic and join us to cheer for the paddle boarders coming in to Manhattan Beach. It's for a good cause and we can spend the day at the beach.

2011-07-28T13:52:00.001-04:00

Marco has been doing good. He's got more movement in his arm and he is doing great with his physical therapy.....and practicing his casting out in the waters...yes he is in a great deal of pain on the boat as well as off the boat but he says no pain, no gain and he can deal with the pain and cramps later he says. So far he tolerates it. Your amazing......I admire all your strength!

Forget About It.......but just for 3 months

2011-06-28T16:41:00.002-04:00

We got a call from COH on 6/16/2011 they wanted to see Marco, to give him his test results.

First appointment given was for 7/7/2011 but Marco couldn't wait so I told him to call and ask for a sooner appointment so they gave it to him on 6/16/2011 at 4:30pm.

Happy to report that it was a 50/50 kind of result....first the surgery area looks great, no recurrence and nothing on his right leg either, so excited about that.

But they did find a nodule in his right lung...they are not sure what it is, they will be keeping an eye on it and will take another CT Scan and MRI in 3 months.

Dr. Trisal didn't seem to be to concerned about it right now, but he did say they will keep an eye on it. So we will have to watch Marco and if anything different starts to come up we need to call them right away.

So for now he is to enjoy and forget about the nodule for the next 3 months.

Had a couple of happy tears to hear the good news of NED (No Evidence of Disease)

One month ago....

2011-04-28T13:26:00.004-04:00

Hard to believe that its been a month since Marco had his huge surgery. He has come a long way. He is able to do a bit more than before. This week he was told not to over due himself so they could take the last drain out on his side. Its been hard for him to find a comfortable spot to sleep, he wakes up feeling stiff from sleeping in one position all night. Some nights its just tossing and turning till there is no pain in one spot.

Once this drain is out he will be able to do more. He will be able to walk better and not concentrate on the drain hanging on the side and hope nothing or no one gets hooked on it so it doesn't get pulled out on accident. Marco still has lots of pain but its tolerable till his next medication time. He has also had some fatigue if he over dose himself. But over all he is okay.

Marco still has a couple more months before he can really start to do things in the mean while he is starting to make plans on what he wants to do, and that is a good thing. The Battle Scar that was left from this last fight is looking better. All the glue they used to close him up is almost all fallen off. Its amazing to see how this glue holds the skin closed and heals the area really good. Who ever invented it is a genius.

I wanted to take this time again to thank Dr.Chow for all the chemo cocktails that helped in the shrinkage of the tumors, Dr. Trisal for his awesome hands, and both of them for believing and fighting for Marco to be able to get this surgery done. Dr.Tan and Dr. Grannis for helping out in the surgery. All the Sarcoma Team that helped we are greatly thankful for your part in the surgery.

We like to thank all the Rally Monkey's for your blood donations. Saving a life is an awesome thing to do and we thank you for all you do. Family Support is what pulls and holds us up everyday. THANK YOU!!!

Battle Scars.....Marco vs. Sarcoma Cancer

2011-04-16T10:17:00.007-04:00

We can never turn our backs on cancer. We always need to be vigilant of what is going on,all the time. If Marco starts to mention that something is bothering him, be it is a little pain here or there. You bet I am on ALERT. I turn into a spy, investigation and touching the area in case I can feel any bumps or lumps.

Marco had surgery in March 2010, two months later Marco was not recovering as fast as he should of been. He was still having pain and it wasn't getting any better. The bump I found on his back one day as I was massaging his back was about a dime size. I asked if it hurt he said no. I was a little worried, so we mentioned it to Dr. Grannis who then had a CT Scan done which confirmed that the cancer was back in the same area. Dr. Grannis was disappointed.

Going and coming out of surgery we know there is no guarantee that all the cancer is gone. All the X rays, CT Scans and blood work aren't able to pick up microscopic size tumors. That is what happened here. The pathology report came back negative for any cancer in the margins, but it came back with a vengeance. Dr. Chow started chemo treatment right away followed by radiation to try to shrink the tumors for surgery. The tumor that was closes to the spine and aorta had shrunk but the one under his shoulder blade started to grow bigger.

We decided to post these picture so you can see that cancer is a vicious disease and the scars it leaves behind. Most cancer patients look good on the outside as Marco does and even though they tell there story and how horrible it is no one really knows the extent of it all. Cancer is just not about chemo and radiation, it's not like a cold and its going to go away.

When someone says they are fighting cancer you bet your ass they are. They are giving it all they can to survive everyday to keep this thing away. When I say Marco is a warrior...I mean he is a WARRIOR, he as well as so many go through so much and the battle scars shows they are standing up to cancer so it doesn't show its ugly head.

The last two pictures are from his most recent surgery done on March 28, 2011.

This is the tumor that was bulging out of Marco's back. It was coming out from under his shoulder blade.

Dr. Tan measured and took a picture to have for surgical removal of tumor. He also wrote the measurements on Marco's back. The scar you see in the picture was the from surgery he had just had in March 2010.

Chest Tube was put in along with some drainage tubes on the side. Marco was really glad and able to do more after the chest tube was removed.

This is what Marco has now, the two drains on the side. A large battle scar.

Good Report

2011-04-16T09:46:00.001-04:00

Well, Marco went to go see Dr. Thomas the pain management guy and Dr. Trisal on Thursday. So I waited to see how the medication change would go before posting.

So far so good the new med. schedule seems to be tolerable for him. He is starting to sleep a bit more than before and you can see it in his face that the pain seems to be under control. Dr. Thomas said it was to be expected to have pain it was a huge surgery and a lot was removed.

Dr. Trisal was very happy and satisfied with the pathology report. He said it was all good news there was NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE in the all that was taken out. The tumors, 4 ribs, chest wall, part of the diaphragm,half of his shoulder blade and piece of lung his margins were clear of any disease. During the surgery the incision they cut a bit more around the diseased area till there is no evidence of cancer all the way around.

Dr. Trisal was very surprised to see Marco doing so well. Though he told him to take it easy it was a huge surgery but one day at a time for recovery.

He still has two drains on his side which may be pulled out next week. Dr. Tan is also getting him a compression vest to try to squeeze more of the fluid out of the cavity where the shoulder blade was removed so will see how that goes.

Marco has gotten on the treadmill to get his walking in and is doing very well with that. He just amazes me.

Marco will be checked every three months for two years. Every 6 months after that. Crossing every part of our bodies that can be crossed, that this shit doesn't poke its ugly head again.

That's my daddy!

2011-03-29T01:10:00.000-04:00

For the last 16 years you have been inspiring me everyday. Today not only have you amazed the doctors who underestimated your ability and strength as a patient, but you have just proven once again why you are the greatest dad anyone could ever have. I love you so much papeechee. I am so grateful are my dad. (: Thank you Dr. Trisal, Dr. Tan, and Dr. Grannis you all did great. Especially Dr. Trisal, you deserve the greatest thanks! (:
Nay

Anxiety Level To The MAX!

2011-03-28T08:32:00.002-04:00

Couldn't sleep last night....to much anxiety. Today is the huge surgery for Marco. None of us are looking forward to it,especially Marco. But we all know Marco and he hasn't backed down from fighting thus far.

Just really wishing all turns out well and that doesn't have a lot of PAIN. That is my worst worry the pain that he may have after this surgery. No one like pain or to see their loved in pain. Having to deal with all this shit and still having to tolerate the aftermath of pain.

Cancer sucks, Marco shouldn't have to be going through this for the 6th time. As if once wasn't enough!

Gianina or I will be posting on here and on Facebook.

Again, Marco will be in ICU for 4-5 days after surgery. We ask that everyone please hold off on visits till he is in a regular room and if you are sick STAY HOME!

Thanks to everyone for all your thoughts and especially all the positive vibes coming our way. We appreciate it!

With that said:

Give it all you have Marco to kick cancers ass!

LOVE YOU! Handsome!

Looking Forward To The Weekend.... Not The Surgery!

2011-03-24T23:58:00.000-04:00

Back from COH and its a go for surgery on Monday. Like I said don't know how to really feel...a lot on the line this time around. Mix feelings about the whole thing.
I just get so mad, thinking of everything Marco is going to have tolerate come Monday. Screaming to the top of my lungs will do no good.

Asked Matthew today while waiting for Marco, if he knew his daddy was going to have surgery on Monday and he said yes! Gianina asked so how do you feel about that and he answered fine how are you? Lol......I asked Gianina how she felt? She said fine so they asked me and I replied SCARED! and Gianina said me too, Matthew said he was terrified!
We all laughed and continued to wait for Marco to come out of his tests. But we know that we are scared of the unknown basically.

This will be a huge surgery and the doctors have already told Marco it will be a long recovery.

We will be spending the weekend at the track. What better way to end the weekend before surgery. I don't cheer for the 99 Carl Edwards..AFLAC car but hope he wins to close a great weekend......LOL I almost believed that one....48 BABY!!!!!!

One more week

2011-03-23T01:10:00.002-04:00

With one more week to go before surgery...time just seems to be going fast. So far Marco is doing good as he always says...

Final Radiation

2011-02-24T00:53:00.006-05:00

Wednesday 2/23/2011 was Marco's last radiation therapy. Next step surgery. Marco has been seeing and having a lot of xrays and test done to prepare for surgery.

Update:

We saw Dr.Grannis who reminded Marco that the surgery would be a huge surgery and they are worried more of blood lose and infection. Three doctors will be in the Operating Room so they are looking at their calendars to get together at the same time to be available for the surgery.

Seems that Marco is "Unique" not in the way that we all know him to be, this unique would be in a bad way we guess. As it was put its not that he is weird but "Unique" very unique.

Their is another patient that has a different sarcoma than Marco that also has had recurrence 4 times with chemo and radiation and it seemed to be coming back for whatever reason that the doctors can't explain.

This patient has been cancer free for 5 months and they are watching her closely. They are very dumb founded that they can't seem to get a handle on it and it seems to not respond just like Marco.

The good thing is that they are willing to fight with Marco to get a hold on it.

Again, I will be asking all Rally Monkey's to donate blood again. We would be very grateful if you could, I will let you know when as soon as the surgery date is given.

As for now Marco is dealing with some side affects from the radiation but is somewhat good. Very tired and hanging in their.

Down the Hatch

2011-02-12T02:22:00.003-05:00

So today Marco saw the diet lady and she was surprised that Marco was eating all the foods on the list that she told him not to eat. But yeah we all know Marco and if he doesn't feel anything then everything is "good".
He has lost a total of 9 pound in the last 3 weeks and they do not want him to lose more weight. This is not good for the healing process but with all the chemo he had and the radiation he is having now, it is not easy for him to feel like eating.

He is starting to feel some irritation in his throat and down his esophagus. Today was the day he swallowed that nasty liquid gel they gave him to drink, to coat his esophagus to heal faster and he decided to tell me if I took a drink he would defiantly drink the rest with no problem.

So there I go and agree, oh hell no this was nasty but I held it in and swallowed it ....ugh the things I do. But the things Marco does to drink all that, was awful. He did a good job holding his nose and down the hatch. Good thing its only 3 times a day he needs to drink that, cause I don't think he could handle more than that.

He is now getting over his nasty cold too. He has also been very tired after every radiation treatment but he tries to do what he can till he is ready to lay down and rest.

Today he completed his 4th week of radiation and is doing okay so far, so now we are changing our way of eating with out a lot of spices...will see how this goes.
His platelets have been going down so they are going to continue to watch it, if it goes lower than 75 count we may need a transfusion, we hope he doesn't get there.

We are all sad by the news that "Amy" our dear friend and Gianina's social worker/counselor will be leaving us at the end of February. She will be missed and I wanted to let her know how much we appreciate all she has done for us and for listing and being there for Gianina when she needed someone to talk to when all hell breaks loose or just to hear the things that bother her at the moment. Truly appreciate all you do. THANK YOU!

Starting to see some side effects

2011-02-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well Marco started 4th week of radiation on Monday and has been trying to kick the cold out of his system. I let the doctor know that Marco has been having back pain. Doctor will keep an eye on this and see what happens by tomorrow, because it started to go away already.

Marco is now starting to feel some discomfort while eating spicy things so no more spicy for him. And will see if Marco will start taking his medication they prescribed soon. He has been feeling very tired after every radiation treatment, his platelets are dropping but not alarming yet so they are looking at that too.

He has lost a total of 9 pounds just in the last 2 weeks, this is not good they want him to maintain his weight if possible. So they are looking at that too. Almost done with week 4 so will see what happens and will let you know

Next Step Radiation...

2011-01-10T23:50:00.003-05:00

Well as you all know we got a call from Dr. Chen's office to make an appointment to see him and talk about possible radiation plans well today was the day.

Marco got tattoo'd where the radiation beam will be aimed at his chest area. He will be getting radiation for 5-6 weeks, 5 days a week for 30 minutes a day.

Marco will have some possible breathing problem, burning in his esophagus, and trouble swallowing. He will have a severe sun burn on his chest and back that will need to be watched while in radiation treatment.

Following this appointment we saw Dr. Chow who let us know that the tumor around the Aorta has shrunk where you can't see it, but the bigger tumor on his back by his shoulder blade has grown (not good news).

Dr. Chow also reminded us that there will be no more chemo, Marco has reached his chemo limit. Soon as radiation is done to try to shrink the tumor, surgery will follow (date not given yet). Dr. Trisal will tell us what the plan is as far as surgery and reconstruction after the surgery.

Things are just going to start getting tougher for Marco as far as all the shit that he has to go through to "HOPE" this Mu'tha F%#ER doesn't show its ugly head again!

We are hoping that some of the blood donated will be used for someone who needs it before Marco and we want to thank everyone again for the Donation Drive. But it seems that we won't be able to use it now, but if anyone would like to donate again before the surgery date we would appreciate it ...I know it is a lot to ask but only if you want.

Thank you!

It Is What It Is......

2010-12-17T00:50:00.003-05:00

We just got back from COH....just gets worse. Surgery is still up in the air, Dr. Trisal was going to bring Marco's case to the Sarcoma Conference today and the next couple of weeks to see if a plan can be put together were everyone agrees that surgery would be the way to go. This surgery as we all know will be very risk and more so as we found out today.

Dr. Trisal showed us Marco's scans and it shows a huge tumor that hasn't shrunk much but we were surprised to hear that there was a second tumor around that area, which is the one that has him worried... is extremely close to his aorta.
If surgery is agreed on... Marco will have to pay a big price starting with having his shoulder blade removed leaving him with some movement in his left arm.

With a hole as big as a Denny's pancake that will have to be reconstructed by a cement chest wall to help him breath and will take a piece of his lung as well. They will need to take a piece of his stomach on the right side to patch up and close him up after surgery. This is a tentative plan till the Sarcoma Conference makes a decision on what will be good to help Marco in the long run.

If they all agree and see that surgery is not an option for Marco to have a good quality of life then the tumors will grow and the cancer will take its course.
This is not what we wanted to hear but we knew it would be something they would eventually talk to us about. More than devastated is what I am feeling right now.
LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!!!!!!!

Hoping For Pain Free Decisions

2010-12-10T10:38:00.005-05:00

We are hoping for some pain free news today. We find out today if Marco has an option for surgery or if Plan B will take affect and what that will be. I hate not knowing what will be coming. Really hoping Dr. Grannis has a plan that will diminish the pain Marco has to endure everyday.

He should of been feeling better since Wed. but that hasn't been the case. This last chemo combo is really kicking his ass. The pain is worse and his leg is swollen and red. All the side affects seem to be lasting longer.

We will keep you posted......

Not A Happy Camper

2010-12-02T12:11:00.002-05:00

Well last night Marco had a high fever of 101.9, gave him some Tylenol and after an hour the temp just went down a little. Put some cold towel on his forehead and it helped after a long while. By 11pm temp came down to about 100.9 and about 1:30 this morning his temp was back up to 101.5 so again gave him some medicine and it seemed to work faster this time.

Marco has had body pain , especially on his left side. He is not a happy camper. He feels like shit and wishes all this chemo and everything he is going through will be enough for Dr. Grannis to want to do the surgery.

I hate to see him like this and hope we get good news on 12/10 ....even though we know he will be in more pain than ever but I least they will get the damn tumor out.

Will keep you posted ....

Giving Thanks

2010-11-24T10:19:00.002-05:00

Giving Thanks in our family has always been a daily thing to do. It has become intensely more so in these last couple of years. Our life as we knew it 3 years ago is a very distant memory....we were able to do more physically as well as financially . We didn't even think about our health for that mater. As you go through life as young adults, you automatically think that as you get older things will start to creep on you because of "age". Well that was not the case.

We are thankful everyday that we have family and friends. Who lend us a hand and help us get through our day at COH when we are there all day or not. Thankful that we have your full support during Marco's toughest fights. We are so very thankful to have you all in our lives.

Without all of your help we wouldn't be able to drop off the kids at school on days we would need to be at COH for early appointment. We wouldn't be able to watch the kids when Marco was called in to see the doctor. We wouldn't be able to pick up the kids from school if we were running late in a appointment. We are thankful that some where there to get us out of a rut when we needed it.

We have gone through tough times but it just seems that they just get tougher as we go along in life. We will be letting go of our home that we have lived in for the last 13 years in a couple of weeks. My parents have offered to open their doors to us. If they know what they got themselves into ....I don't know... but we are very thankful from the bottom of all our hearts.

Thank you to all of you have tried endlessly to help us keep this house. We are just glad that we have family who is willing to take us all in. Keeping our heads up out the water has been extremely tough, trying to see the light in all of this is even tougher to do.

We also are thankful for the times you go out of your way to get us out of daily stress and enjoy family time in different ways. Weather it be kid'nap'n to a casino to just inviting to have dinner.... to a Great NASCAR race.

WE THANK EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO FOR OUR FAMILY.

Hasn't Shrunk and Hasn't Grown

2010-11-23T16:21:00.002-05:00

Long Day at COH yesterday. First appointment was the CT Scan at 7am followed by labs at 9am. After a long chat with the financial lady and a couple of thousands on a credit card we didn't want to use, later. Marco was able to continue with his appointments.

Dr. Chow came into the room and let us know that the tumor hadn't grown but hadn't shrunk either. Looks like the tumor is starting to take liquid form instead of it being solid as it was meaning it is dying from the inside at a slower pace. Well this wasn't good or bad news we are stuck in a middle. Dr. Chow wanted Marco to see Dr. Grannis and see if surgery is still an option and if so Dr. Trisal will be assisting him in the surgery.

After our consultation was over Dr. Chow didn't want Marco to stop the chemo so he told Marco to continue with Cycle 5 while all the appointments were made and a decision was made in regards to the surgery date. So after 90 min. of Gemzar chemo, we were finally going to go get something to eat and go home or so we thought. As we arrived at our lunch destination Medicated Man noticed that one of our tires was flat, so we had to drive to La Puente to a Sears Auto Center to get it all taken care of. An hour and a half later the car was done. We finally got home , Marco was doing well even after a long day.
Will keep everyone posted on what will happen on the next appointment.

Good Day Today

2010-11-19T10:03:00.002-05:00

Marco started to look and feel a little bit better since yesterday. He is not as tired and as nauseated as he has been. Witch is a good thing, he is still trying to take it easy. He will have at least 3 full days to recover from all the chemo side affects.

The stress has been easily starting to creep up....Marco will be getting his CT Scan on Monday which will determine a lot of things. We will find out if the tumor has shrunk to Dr. Chow's expectations and if so, he may continue to have his chemo later on that same morning with one more cycle to follow to complete 6 cycles of chemo.

If tumor hasn't shrunk significantly, but hasn't grown, then Marco will have an appointment set up to see Dr. Trisal and or Dr. Grannis in which time they will determine what will be the next step to do the surgery or not. Last, if chemo is not working and it is still growing hopefully Dr. Chow has a plan B. In which way, it is stressful to think that one scan can determine a number of outcomes.

On a different note, after school today the kids will be on vacation for a week! Yipee! turkey day is just around the corner......Marco is going to BBQ the turkey ......Um can't wait.
Pictures will follow .....

Star Student of the Week -Family Letter

2010-11-17T12:51:00.004-05:00

As most of you know Matthew was chosen Star Student of the Week. During the week they are to share favorite and interesting things about themselves. Today , we had to make a Family Letter to the class and share some interesting things about our child. So I wanted to share the letter I wrote to the class.

Dear Mrs. Mathews’ 2^nd Grade Class

I wanted to share some interesting facts about my son Matthew. Matthew is a great, awesome kid. He has one sister, Gianina who he loves very much. They love to have movie night with popcorn and candy. Matthew enjoys going on surprise road trips, especially if he doesn’t know where he is going. He loves Miyako Sushi. Family time is very important in our family and we do a lot of things together.

Matthew tells the funniest knock, knock jokes like …..

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Yodelay-hee

Yodelay-hee who?

I didn’t know you could yodel.

He also loves practical jokes and pranks too. For Matthew’s birthday his aunt gave him a practical joke box filled with funny pranks. It had some funny eye glasses that he brought to show you.

The first time he opened the box he reached in and grabbed an envelope with a rubber band wrapped around a piece of medal. It said to twist the rubber band slowly around the medal and close the envelope slowly.

Well his grandpa came over and Matthew gave him the envelope to open. So grandpa opened the envelope and he jumped so high when the rubber band came loose in the envelope. It was funny, grandpa got scared. We all started to laugh.

Drawing, painting and craft projects are some of his favorite things to do. We just made the remote control car from Toy Story. He has such great ideas that we use in our crafts for different holidays too.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading some interesting facts about my son Matthew. Till next time.

Matthew’s Mom

Academic Achievement!

2010-11-16T00:32:00.003-05:00

Even with all the worries we have in our lives. Seeing Marco sick and tired all the time. Dealing with life changes that we have all had to do in such a short time.

The kids have done a great job keeping all their grades up in school.

In the beginning of this school year DLP was having a hard time with all her AP classes and she was even having a melt down at one point. Her grades where going down not because she wasn't doing her work but because these college class were kicking her butt.

After going to the meet the teachers night , the teachers mentioned that parents should expect to see the grades drop from students who were getting A's and B's to them getting D's and F's.

She asked for help to get these grades up. She finally got the hang of it. We are proud to say that she has done an amazing job and getting her grades up from D's and F's to B's and C's. We are so happy for you DLP! We are so proud of you G, we know you have worked hard to get these grades up and we appreciate all the time you spend after school to work to get these grades up.... determination and willingness great job!

Machini has had his share of fall outs in the last couple weeks but has also done a great job in his behavior and class work. He was named Star Student of the Week in school and has gotten 100% on all his spelling test. He even got the Top Banana for reading and doing his AR test with also 100%. Great job Machini!

As a parent you hope your kids do well in school, but when you have your life flip upside down from one day to another. You cross your fingers that your kids can coupe with everything around them and they have the strength and ability to move forward and maintain a "normal" routine in school and in daily life.

They prove it with the good grades and academic achievements in school.
WE ARE SO PROUD OF BOTH OF YOU!!!

18 Years and Counting

2010-11-15T23:51:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, we celebrated our 18th Anniversary.

Most of you know our story. We've known each other since we were 9 or 10. Grew up in the same neighborhood and we were high school sweet hearts you could say.
I proposed to Marco in June 92' and we were married that same year in November.

Had our beautiful daughter and then later we had or handsome little man.

Seems like just yesterday we were planning on getting married and planning our lives together. Our little family is our greatest accomplishments in life. We are lucky to have such great kids.

18 years looks like a long time on paper but it sure seems like just yesterday when you enjoy everyday with the one you love.

Happy Anniversary again Honey! I LOVE YOU!!!

Chemo Cycle and Combo #4

2010-11-12T16:36:00.002-05:00

Monday, November 8th

Marco had combo #4 and it hasn't gone without body pain and some fever. Day 8 of the combo is something we do not look forward too. I see Marco in a lot of pain and not being able to take that away is heartbreaking. The pain comes from the immune system injection that he get on the 9th day after his combo chemo. This medication helps the body to produce more bone marrow and fight of the poison that has gone in his body. There is basically a war in his body and that is were his pain comes from.

His appetite has been good. Just has to eat real slow and with some difficulty to try to keep it in. But for the most part it stays in.

Monday , November 22 he has an appointment for a CT Scan and to see Dr. Chow. Will then find out if the chemotherapy has been working in shrinking the tumor or if there hasn't been any change or worse case scenario the tumor has continued to grow. Either way a plan should be put into play 1. continue with the chemo if tumor is shrinking to Dr. Chow's expectations 2. Hasn't shrunk but hasn't grown..poss. surgery or 3. The chemo hasn't done anything and it is still growing....?

We have to look at all the possibilities to be prepared.

We will keep you posted on what is going on as it comes. For now, Marco has another couple of bad days before he starts to feel better.

Catching the "BIG ONE" on the Man-cation

2010-11-12T15:44:00.003-05:00

Catching the "BIG ONE" off of Catalina

Marco was feeling good a couple of days before starting his 4th cycle of chemo....he decided he was going on a man-cation. The week before we decided not to let the kids go to school to enjoy a day at sea with us. I think its ok ...especially if Marco is feeling good. Hey we have to take advantage that he wants to take us too.

Marco called my dad and NoNo to go and they didn't hesitate to go on the man-cation with Marco.

After about 10min. Marco was able to pull this monster out of the water. A 21 lb. yellow tail was at the end of the line. He said it put up a fight and it had going all around the boat. I told him if he would of taken us, we would have video the whole thing. Marco said he was exhausted after bring the fish to the boat but it was worth it. I told him he should of asked for help to reel it in. His response was no....you have to bring it in yourself. He had to catch his breath afterwards and even the deck hand asked if he was ok. He said it was all worth it! They had a great time!

Let me tell you that this Big'O thing didn't last too long. Marco had it all filleted and the next day we made it on the grill. Marco did a Korean BBQ and Salt and Pepper on the other. Let me tell you they were delicious. We still had enough to make a shrimp soup with the rest of the BIG ONE. Thank you honey .....GOOD EATS!!!!

Matthew's First Deep Sea Fishing Trip

2010-11-12T15:11:00.002-05:00

Marco was feeling good after having a hell of a week dealing with the side effects of the 3rd chemo. He decided the night before to go fishing. We know he was feeling better, when he says he wants to go fishing. So he invited Matthew this time, Matthew was so excited! He usually says no thanks I don't want to go........ when we invite him this time he said yes.

Marco told Matthew to bite the squid...yeah that was nasty and to close to his mouth. We all laughed and told him not to bite it.

It was a great day...the weather was perfect...the water was calm and we were catching fish. What more could you ask for. And not to mention that Marco was feeling good. We all had a great time together doing what we all love FISHING! Now Matthew says he is not staying home no more he will be going fishing from now on.

I had to help Matthew bring in his "BIG "catch of the day. He love fishing more than we thought.

Matthew looked like true fisherman.

Matthew showing off my fish.....

Chemo Combo#3

2010-10-18T09:56:00.003-04:00

Marco had been doing good. He was feeling so good that he even made it 4 days out in Fontana at the Auto Club Speedway for NASCAR PEPSI MAX 400. Was extremely tired at the end of everyday but he said it was well worth it.
He got a chance to get autographs from some of the drivers and even got to see Danica Patrick in the garage as well.

This last week he has been very tired. With some pain and even some pain in a different area than before. We will be seeing Dr. Chow this morning and he will then be headed to get his 3rd chemo combo.
Marco is not looking forward to it, he says if the tiredness was bad he would hate to see what is coming with this other two chemo's.

All in all, he is doing good.

I would like to take sometime to thank everyone for your thoughts and well wishes. We appreciate you all.

Treatment Update on Soft Tissue Sarcoma

2010-10-01T21:49:00.003-04:00

CancerCare has great presentations you can listen to and share with friends and family. You can listen to one of their recently recorded presentations here:
Treatment Update on Soft Tissue Sarcoma

Topics covered:
• Overview of soft tissue sarcoma
• Current standard of care
• New treatment approaches
• How clinical trials contribute to treatment options
• Pain and symptom management
• Communicating with your health care team
• Quality-of-life concerns
• Questions for our panel of experts

Attitude

2010-09-23T11:23:00.002-04:00

This is an interesting article Marco and Marie showed me while we were at the hospital for Marco's chemo. Thought I'd post for everyone else to read too.

Attitude

By Bill Matteson, 2003 bone marrow transplant survivor
(From City of Hope’s “High Hopes” newsletter by patients for patients)

There is no substitute for good health-care providers who systematically monitor patients and their conditions and prescribe appropriate treatment and medication. However, as patients, we cannot blindly follow that path believing that “everything is being done.”

Everything is not being done as long as we totally rely on others to minister to our needs. As I’ve mentioned in prior articles, we need to be involved in our care, monitoring our own bodies and participating in the healing process, not just relying on others to do the right thing.

I believe one of the highly-effective actions that we, as patients, can do is to have a strong, irrepressible, and continuous positive attitude. This is not always easy, particularly when we receive less than positive news. However, sulking and moping after receiving such news is definitely not productive. Taking this thought further, I believe anger, anxiety, frustration, depression and despair are counterproductive, and actually feed and nourish the problem.

Along these lines, there is a saying something to the effect that anticipating the best will almost certainly promote the best, and anticipating the worst will promote the worst. These are basically self-fulfilling prophecies, predictions that directly or indirectly cause themselves to become true.

Considering that what is going to happen will happen (it is what it is), it doesn’t do us much good to worry about it, to have negative self-fulfilling prophesy thoughts. Alternatively, I believe we will be much better off if we turn our energy into positive thinking – think good thoughts and help them to become true. This is what I always try to do.

For the most part, as I’ve gone through my journey of a bone marrow transplant, several back surgeries, more surgeries for melanoma on the left side of my face, radiation treatments to kill any renegade melanoma cells so they wouldn’t spread, and ongoing treatments for melanoma that spread to my lungs and liver anyway, I’ve always approached these challenges as ones that I can handle and beat. As soon as I can’t handle and beat them, I suspect I won’t have any attitude, let alone a positive one, so what good does it do to worry?

If the truth be known, I’ve pretty much ignored these challenges as nothing more than “bumps in the road” and gone on with life being status quo as much as possible. I listen to my doctors, follow their suggested regimen, assume the results will be positive and continue on. I do not dwell on any negative aspects of my situation and the resulting treatment. As I said, I believe that is counterproductive.

Conversely, I try to make positive opportunities out of the various negative aspects of my health problems. Now you might be saying, “How do you come up with something positive about having melanoma that has spread to your lungs and liver?” Well, I’ve come up with several things. For one, all my friends visit and/or call more often. It’s nice to hear from them and feel their concern and know they care. I also see it as another experience to write about in my columns and these might eventually help others (someone or something is sending me through all these “opportunities to excel” for a reason).

I do a few other things periodically to reinforce a positive attitude. One is to reflect on what a good life I’ve already had: a wonderful family life (both in my youth and as I matured and had my own family), enjoyable educational opportunities, a career that took me all over the world, fun vacations, and miscellaneous other successes. I’ve done most things I wanted to do and certainly have no regrets. More than likely, you all have similar things to be thankful for.

I also take time to realize that no one gets out of this life alive; Einstein died (he was smart), Rockefeller died (he was rich), Elvis died (he was famous), and billions of others before me have died. It’s nothing new; the only question is when, and worrying about it won’t make it disappear. Maybe ignoring it won’t make it disappear either, but if my doctors, especially City of Hope doctors, are using their education and experience to do the best that can be done, there’s not much I can add except a positive attitude. My excellent doctors and my positive attitude have gotten me seven years down the road after my transplant, and actually well over a year down the road after my initial diagnosis of melanoma in late 2008.

With my melanoma, I’ve heard a few doctors mention I’d have as little as two months to live, and I’ve listened to that now for the last year or so. My job is to figure out how to extend this, two years or even more. I don’t need no stinking melanoma; I have too many articles to write, not to mention fishing, camping, traveling, and playing golf to get back to. I use my “Bucket List” to keep me going! You could do the same; having a “to do” list of things you still want to experience gives you purpose and goals, and having goals to accomplish is positive, leaving no time to give in to adversity. Live, love, laugh and be happy; and straight ahead for a long and healthy life.

Started 2nd Chemo Cycle

2010-09-15T00:30:00.004-04:00

Monday, Marco started his 2nd chemo cycle with Gemzar which was infused in a one and a half hour session at COH. It pretty much went smoothly.
We arrived early and basically called in on time. Marco is so funny after the nurse came and introduce herself to us she said she was going start the IV line and go see if the medication was ready and would be back in a bit.

As she leaves Marco looks over at me and says "do you think that nurse would get insulted if I told her something?".....I looked at him and asked " What are you going to tell her?" I even think I gave him one of those OH SHIT! what is going to come out your mouth. So, the nurse came into the room just as I asked him again what he was going to tell her.

And Marco blurs out ......" So how do you feel about starting an IV line?" What!!!! I thought I was going to choke on my own spit when we asked ....I was waiting for something like Did you know you are wearing your pants on backwards? or something along those lines.

So the nurse looks over at him and smiles and says good, I've been doing this for 20 something years and worked in the ER and was a paramedic so I know what I am doing.

We all laughed and Marco says "Good cause you only have one shot at this!" We all laughed again and she started to look for a good vein. She says I found it, so here we go. Marco said it wasn't bad at all. She did it quick.

He has been feeling some tiredness but over all, so far so good. His next chemo combo will be next Monday and that is the one that will make him sick so we are crossing our fingers that it will not get any worse than last time and he will be able to tolerate it again.

I forgot to mention that on Sunday, Marco's hair started to fall out .....so I had to go and cut and shave his hair off. Can't begin to say how I feel about that. Hair or no hair I still love you Handsome!!

Starting To Feel The Side Effects

2010-09-03T00:15:00.003-04:00

Well today is day three after the last chemo was given for the first cycle. Marco woke up this morning not looking good but kept saying he was alright. Yeah, I know what alright means. He has been dragging himself from room to room. He looks so exhausted today and in lot of pain.

I have been taking his temperature just make sure he doesn't run a fever because he had been feeling warmer than normal but it has been a steady 99.9- 100. so he is good. But from experience we know that at any moment this can turn ugly and I have to drive him to COH to check if his platelet count has gone down or something else. So for now just keeping an eye on my handsome.

I hate to see him like this...it just piss's me off. That he has to go through all this for no reason. And all this bullshit that all things happen for a reason is STUPID!!!!

His whole face changes when the pain is there and he says I'm ok, yet I see right through it. He is just exhausted and looks very tired. He says his whole body feels numb, it hurts from head to toe's and as I try to rub his back to sooth he says it hurts so he asks for me to stop. The immense feeling of not being able to do anything for him right now drives me crazy.

His appetite till today has been great. Today was Chinese food, not take out , I made it myself and boy was it delish. Diner time Marco didn't want to much so I think some nausea is still lingering from this morning. But he said it was good. Machini said he was impressed. How can a almost 7 year old tell me he is impressed by my cooking (hilarious), we all just busted out laughing.

Hoping the side affects are not going to get worse and that tomorrow is a better day for you handsome......
Thank you all for calling, thoughts and positive vibes... we feel the love!

More Chemo, Different Chemo

2010-08-26T09:47:00.013-04:00

Marco sent me the information about the new chemo he will be taking. It's a combination treatment called Gemzar with Taxotere.

Here are some excerpts from the current studies on this combination chemo treatment. Some terminology to remember too about response rates and palliation:

Complete Response means:
All detectable cancer is now gone after treatment. There can still be cancer left, but too little to detect, so a Complete Response is not the same thing as a cure, although some patients with a Complete Response may be cured.

Partial Response means:
Roughly speaking, a decrease in the amount of cancer of at least 50%, but less than 100%. More precisely, a decrease in the total cross sectional area of all measurable tumors of at least 50% but less than 100%.

Objective Response Rate is:
The proportion of patients with defined tumour shrinkage; generally it is the sum of partial responses and complete responses

Palliative chemotherapy is:
A type of chemotherapy that is given specifically to address symptom management without expecting to significantly reduce the cancer.

Adjuvant chemotherapy is:
Chemotherapy given to destroy left-over (microscopic) cells that may be present after the known tumor is removed by surgery. Adjuvant chemotherapy is given to prevent a possible cancer reoccurrence.

Neoadjuvant chemotherapy is:
Chemotherapy given prior to the surgical procedure. Neoadjuvant chemotherapy may be given to attempt to shrink the cancer so that the surgical procedure may not need to be as extensive.

From current sarcoma articles:

"Treatment options for patients with advanced soft-tissue sarcoma remain limited. There are few agents that achieve high objective response rates and none that result in cure for even a minority of patients. Although doxorubicin with or without ifosfamide remains a mainstay of treatment for many histologic types of advanced soft-tissue sarcoma, the combination of gemcitabine and docetaxel (Marco's current treatment) has become an established treatment option for patients, perhaps particularly those with leiomyosarcoma. The clinical development of the gemcitabine–docetaxel regimen is outlined, and data demonstrating the efficacy of this regimen in soft-tissue sarcoma are reviewed.

...retrospective studies and some case reports have been published that provide additional information regarding the activity of fixed-dose-rate gemcitabine and docetaxel in soft-tissue sarcoma. In one retrospective study, 133 patients with any number of prior treatment regimens were treated with fixed-dose-rate gemcitabine and docetaxel. Thirty-eighty percent of patients had had two or more prior regimens; 57% of patients had leiomyosarcoma. Objective response was observed in 18.4% of 114 patients evaluable for response (three complete responses and 18 partial responses). Sixteen of the responses were among 66 patients with leiomyosarcoma (24.2%), and five were among patients with other soft-tissue sarcoma histologies...

In another retrospective study, 35 patients with any number of prior regimens received fixed-dose-rate gemcitabine. The objective response rate was 43% (five complete and 10 partial responses). Objective responses were seen in seven patients with leiomyosarcoma, one malignant fibrous histiocytoma / undifferentiated high-grade pleomorphic sarcoma, two osteosarcomas, three angiosarcomas, one malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor, and one Ewing's sarcoma.

There have also been case reports of objective responses to gemcitabine and docetaxel in other unusual sarcomas. A patient with pulmonary angiosarcoma was reported to have achieved a complete radiographic response. In addition, a patient with locally advanced leiomyosarcoma of the bladder had a near-complete pathologic response to gemcitabine–docetaxel delivered as neoadjuvant therapy.

"Apart from the chemosensitive small round cell tumors such as Ewing’s sarcoma family of tumors (ESFT) and rhabdomyosarcomas (RMS), some of which are potentially curable even when metastatic, all other patients with metastatic soft tissue sarcomas (STSs) are destined to die from their disease however aggressive their management. There are some exceptions, including a proportion of patients with limited pulmonary disease who have a long survival after lung metastasectomy as well as a fraction of patients (30%) among those achieving complete response (CR) after chemotherapy (accounting for 1–3% of patients with metastatic disease). For the majority of patients, the goals of treatment include palliation of symptoms and prolongation of survival with improved quality of life. Given this fact, one needs to consider how aggressive the treatment should be in order to balance the hoped for benefit against the inevitable toxicity. One important question that remains open is whether combination chemotherapy is better (in terms of overall survival [OS]) than sequential administration of active single chemotherapy agents...

The key role of chemotherapy in the management of STS is in the palliation of advanced disease. Active agents include doxorubicin, often used as a single agent, and ifosfamide. The combination of these two agents may produce a more rapid response and an increased likelihood of tumor shrinkage, but it is not yet clear whether there is a definite advantage to the use of combination therapy in terms of survival. Adjuvant chemotherapy for STS remains controversial but may be advantageous in certain situations, for example, where optimal RT cannot be given and local control is vital. Individual disease types are now treated differently, for example, synovial sarcoma is particularly sensitive to ifosfamide, angiosarcoma to taxanes and leiomyosarcoma to gemcitabine or the combination of gemcitabine plus docetaxel..."

From: Update on gemcitabine and docetaxel combination therapy for primary and metastatic sarcomas. Hensley ML. Curr Opin Oncol. 2010 Jul;22(4):356-61.

Role of chemotherapy in the management of soft tissue sarcomas. Krikelis D, Judson I. Expert Rev Anticancer Ther. 2010 Feb;10(2):249-60

Day Two After Chemo...

2010-08-26T04:41:00.002-04:00

Marco had been feeling fine after the chemo on Tuesday...he is starting to experience the dry mouth syndrome after the first couple of days with the other chemo's he would experience this too. So it was expected...he looks a little tired but doing well.

Marco is getting a different type of chemo this time. Marco's sister will be posting it later if you are interested in reading about it and what it is used for and what it does. So he will be going down to COH and coming home after each chemo. He just had one on Tuesday and will return next Tuesday ( 8 days later) for two chemos and get an immune system boost shot the next day.

Thank you all for your thoughts and positive vibes you all having been sending. We appreciate them all.

Fighting On!

Starting Chemo Again

2010-08-24T08:16:00.003-04:00

Our lives have been shaken up by the thought that Marco has to again endure all the probing needles, dealing with the IV hook-up's, dealing with the aftermath of nausea, vomiting, possibly loosing his hair yet again, dealing with the chemo brain in such a short amount of time ....this time around.
I wonder how strong these chemo that they are going to give him this time are going to be. It's going to be 2 rounds of this shit to shrink them.

Really putting my positive energy that he is able to tolerate it as well as he has had in the past. I hate this, he is called in and is read what the bag says, like we know what the hell it means. "You will be getting this, this, some of that, along with this, with an explanation of what each does and it should run about this amount of time."

There is something about seeing the shit dripping into the the chamber before entering the tube that will eventually go into his veins.
As soon as you know it went in, the pit of my stomach just tightens and all I can think about is I fuck'n hope it works.

Well, today Marco will start a new regimen of Chemo. Out Patient: He will get first dose this morning, he will return in eight days and get the second dose. Then go back to get a Nulasta shot to boost up his immune system.
After twenty-two days he will again do the same as above mentioned, x-ray's will be done to see if the tumor has shrunk. If so, the plan is to do surgery to remove it.

The tumor is near the chest wall, up on his scapula. Surgery would be performed by Dr. Trisal. This would be a big surgery, reconstruction and cosmetic construction would be need too. He will have a longer recovery and with that lots of pain.

Handsome, I know that this is going to be another physical as well mental challenge for you. Let's see what this chemo does.....I hope it takes out this SOB for good! Time to take out the warrior outfit, I know you have it in you to face this shit again. You know that we all stand behind you on any decision you make.

Positive vibes with lots of love that this chemo does what it has to do. We all love you very much!!!!!! I want to say that I appreciate all that you do...for yourself and for us to get better, and the kids know all the extra effort you put in for them too. As stupid as this may sound but thank you ......for fighting everyday and continue to fight for your life these last 3 years.

WE WANT OUR ROAD TRIP MOMENT BACK!!!!!

2010-08-23T18:57:00.003-04:00

What I would have given to hear that the fishing trips that we have taken , had taken a tole on Marco's surgery area. That would of been the best words out of the doctors mouth. Instead the words that we all dread were uttered out of the doctors mouth " Well, the cancer is back"; even thought we had an incline that it may have been the case, you are never prepared. It still hits you like a fuck'n pile of bricks.

Marco had already made a decision to not do anymore chemo treatments or surgery's but has now taken a second look at things and has decided to go ahead and do the chemo. Going in with mixed emotions, he is the one that is going through all this and he is the only one that has to deal with all this shit. I can only go by what he is feeling by looking at him and seeing the look in his face that he feels like shit.

We had just taken that beautiful coastal road trip a couple of weeks ago. In that time I can say that we left cancer behind us and we didn't think of COH we didn't think that maybe something would be growing inside Marco. It was a peaceful road trip we didn't even get on each others nerves. We all enjoyed each others company....it was the best time we have had as a family that we all enjoyed. Who knew that this awesome feeling would come to a straight halt.

Why can't we just stay on the "road trip moments". Why doesn't this SOB just stop growing and coming back. Why did all this happen in the first place? Why is this happening again?

Marco has to deal with chemo again and it's unfair........he says it's the worst thing someone has to go through. Not to mention all the surgery's he has had and all the pain that comes with the aftermath.

Selfish is the word that came to our minds in the last couple of days.....is the person who is going through cancer selfish for not wanting to go through all the shit with chemo and surgery. Are they selfish that they need to think twice before saying yes to harsh treatments , selfish to say I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS ANY MORE!!!!! to put themselves first besides their children, wife, family and friends. This is one the hardest things that goes through Marco's mind. I had to take 3 steps back and say you are right.

The same way we are selfish to say you need to do the treatments, chemo, surgery's, radiation, even though we know all the shit that he goes through because he has gone through it before and "He can do it!".....I am not sure anymore....and neither is Marco.

We are selfish to think that all this shit needs to be done for the kids, for the wife, for the family and anyone else. I feel selfish to think that he may be doing all of this because he feels he has to prove a point, not to look like he is giving up, the pressure he feels of letting family down. When will enough be enough..........Marco has had to make one of the most difficult decisions in his life. It all comes down to damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of decisions. At the end Marco is the one to make that decision and we all need to respect his decisions. Whether we like it or not.....we are not the ones going through all this shit.

Today was the one of many devastating days to hear that the cancer is back. You can't imagine the anger that I feel...it is just overwhelming in ever way possible.

Marco will start chemo tomorrow because of the 1% something will help, but 99% of his entire being is saying he should not be doing it.....that outta tell you something.

Worried It May Be Back Again.....

2010-08-17T11:39:00.002-04:00

Well, its been about 3 weeks since Marco last saw Dr. Chow at COH. He recommended that Marco get a full body PET Scan because there was something "worrisome". Dr. Chow wasn't 100% sure what he was seeing in his CT Scan, that was taken prior to his last visit. Tomorrow he will be having this test done.

As of Sunday he has been slowly feeling some pain more than other days. At first he thought it might be from going fishing, but last night he had a fever and he says that the pain is that of when he first got out of surgery. We are now worried if this SOB is back again.

My friend Karen posted on Facebook a couple of weeks ago that she hoped it was something stupid they would find. To some this may sound harsh words or some may even find it offensive but I know exactly what she is saying.....I am hoping for STUPID right now. STUPID would mean that there would be nothing there but scar tissue and what they saw there 3 weeks ago is no longer there now. I wouldn't even be mad that they made a STUPID mistake, I told her that I never thought STUPID could be something good and right now STUPID would be great news.

But it is "worrisome" when there is extreme pain with fever and not know were it is coming from.

You all know that Marco is not one to complain but he is now. He can't stop massaging his arm and his left side were the surgery area is. His face says it all, there is something going on....I am wishing positive vibes your way Marco that it's something STUPID and that they take this pain away.

This is one of those helpless moments that you can't do a damn thing to take his pain way. Wishing I could do more but I can't so the waiting begins for the results to find some answers to a million questions. We will keep you posted.......

Thank you to all for all your thought and positive vibes...

Get Together

2010-08-10T13:32:00.001-04:00

Here in this picture is Sal, Monica, Laura, Beto, NoNo, Liz, Marco and myself posing.

All the kids with their dad's .......

All of the guys had fun laughing and reminiscing of good times and all they did. They would all want to get together every time they would see each other. They would make comments that let's get together and BBQ and bring all the family. Till I go tired of hearing them and I made it a point and called everyone and they all came to the park and had a great time. Who knew that this would happened after so many years .....that I would be the one to call them to get together...if someone would have told me that 20 some years ago I would of thought they were crazy...funny how things come about....
The smiles just show you that they all had a great time! Marco especially had a great time hanging out with his old buddies.

Feeling Well Enough .......

2010-08-09T19:55:00.000-04:00

July 21st, Marco decided he felt good enough to take a 3/4 boat out to go fishing. NoNo and Nito joined in all the fun. Marco did pretty well out there.

DLP posing while we wait for the bait to be placed in the holding tank on the boat.

Nito holding a Mackerel as he does a catch and release

Nono finishing up his breakfast burrito on the boat.

Here are the boys as we arrive at 3am to the 22nd Landing

I haven't written in quit a while so I will try to update this blog up to were we are now. I will be going back in time after I get some pictures of DLP's 16th birthday when I get the pictures to show you. Marco has been doing well.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

2010-06-20T10:21:00.004-04:00

Happy Father's Day!

Dad, you are the best hands down. No one can compare. I am so proud to have you for a dad. My mom sure knows how to pick em'. You have done such a great job raising Matthew and I (with help from my mom). I don't think anyone has ever had a dad that was so caring, modest, strong in heart, most intelligent, and a tad crazy. But I'm glad that it's Matthew and myself that have you.
Thank you. Thank you for always being there for me when I need you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity go explore new places, and giving me the motivation to do things. Also Thank you for entertaining me for the last (almost) 16 years. I have learned a lot dance moves from you, most of which I may never use out in public. You always know how to make me laugh with your silliness. Although we have our ups and downs I know that no matter what you will always be there for me. I appreciate all you do, thanks dad. Happy Father's Day.

DLP

Happy Father's Day! Dad....Thank you for all the things you have done for me. For taking me places for getting 100% on my tests. Wetting me wth the hose, even when I don't want to get wet, but it's ok I like it... I guess. Oh and for letting me use your computer all the time. I love you a lot!

Happy Father's Day!

Machini

Handsome,

The Greatest Dad EVERRRRRRR! I love that you are the dad that everyone would want to have as their own but I am lucky and proud to have you as our kids DAD. All I wanted for my kids was someone who would spend time with their kids, weather it be hanging out or just sitting watching a TV Show and appreciate the little things in life. You have always been their for them and that is something they cherish. I love you for being the GREATEST DAD EVER!! You know if means a great deal to me when I can say that. Thank you for all you do for our kids.

The Wife

Cancer Survivor Day at City of Hope Today

2010-06-03T20:48:00.002-04:00

Today at City of Hope they held their 3rd Annual Cancer Survivor Day. This year it was ALOHA Style, they decorated the Resource Center all out in Hawaiian Themed booths. As we entered all the Survivors were greeted and had metals given to them with the City of Hope logo on them. All of us were given leis. We took a pic which will be placed in the City of Hope scrapbook.

This morning Marco didn't want to attend this event he didn't think it was something to celebrate I suppose it could be true but I would like to think that it's a day that we celebrate the courage and the tough fight that he as well as million of others have to go through for NO REASON at all. It's a day to see how many other survivors have gone through hell and have fought to come and say I am a SURVIVOR!

This is a big deal... this celebration is not one you think of like a birthday or retirement, it's a you have survived a life of hell for 3 years. You have gone through 2 types of hardcore chemotherapy's , gone through all the nausea, you lost all your hair twice, you have had 5 MAJOR surgeries without knowing what the outcome would be. You have fought through all this and yet at the end of the day you are a SURVIVOR you are the one who has tolerated all of the above and them some not mentioned. I do celebrate in my own way that I have you hear with us after all this shit you have gone through , so yes you are a SURVIVOR and one of the strongest men I know. So I want to thank you for going today as a survivors who has stood up to cancer and fought with all you have to survive. I thank you for fighting Marco ....we love you very much!!!

Enough said....I will post picture if they send me one later....

My First Mother and Son Dance

2010-05-25T20:50:00.002-04:00

This was last Wednesday and we had a great time. Just to see Machini's face while we were dancing and I would show him my moves and he would start to laugh was priceless. The school did a good job in organizing this night. There was a good turn out and we had a awesome night.

Hanging Out With Family

2010-05-25T20:42:00.002-04:00

We have been attending more family functions which is a great switch from being at City of Hope. Hanging around family and friends has been good. Marco has been feeling well to be out and about in a boat. The kids will be getting out of school for summer vacation tomorrow and we are excited. Looking forward to this summer and see what it will bring.

Car Wash Fundraiser Pictures

2010-05-25T16:10:00.002-04:00

Car Wash Fundraiser and Machini's Dragon Play

2010-05-25T15:38:00.005-04:00

Here is Machini with his classmates performing a play all about Dinosaurs. I
it was awesome, they all did a great job.

Machini was so excited to show us his performance and we arrived with
about 10 minutes to spare.
We had attended Jaylen's Car Wash Fundraiser to support the NASCAR Day Initiative. The four year old little boy is a heart patient at Loma Linda and he wants to be a NASCAR Driver when he grows up. And the best part was that we got to drive on the track to dry our car off.
It was amazing! We could of gone fast but we had to stay to the speed limit. We had an amazing afternoon with Spaghetti dinner that was served at Machini's school. If the photos look bright it's because Marco decided this would be the best time to play around with the camera settings....

Keeping Busy

2010-05-25T15:19:00.002-04:00

These picture are of our yard which hasn't been touch in 12 years. These were taken a couple of weeks after Marco had his major surgery. Our first attempt to have some grass in the yard so we could enjoy some BBQ for this summer is the goal.

I had leveled the yard as much as I could and started to lay down some top soil with
Marco telling me where to go and how to do it.

Who knew a few plants would look in the back. We should of done this along time ago.
Thanks to Medicated Man who came out to help put these in.

Marco has been keeping busy with house repairs and yard work .....learning to limit himself on what he can and can not do. He is still recovering and taking it easy. He has been slowly feeling better. Looking forward to see grass growing in the desert sand. Two weeks after laying out the grass seeds we didn't see anything growing so we did what anyone else would do .....we did it again and planted seeds to see what would happen. Pictures to follow. So far ... all is good.

As Good As It Gets

2010-04-17T02:16:00.019-04:00

Who knew after having our coffee this morning we would end up at the Auto Club Speedway for the Petty Driving Experience....HOLY SHIT! is what I thought when Celi call this morning and asked how Marco was doing...I told her he was feeling better slowly but surely. She asked if I thought he would be willing to meet at the track and I told her I didn't know. So I went to ask Marco what he thought and he said YES! Well we left the house like bats out of hell.
We met Celi there and before you know it we were gearing up for a ride along. The excitement kicked in as soon as Celi asked if I wanted to get in too....didn't take me long to say HELL YEAH!!

Geared up..helmet on waited to be called and them we got into the car and off we went and after a green and checkered flag we had an awesome ride , a once in a life time experience, the adrenaline was on high and we didn't feel pain before or after. This would have to be a major highlight in our Nascar experience. Thank you ! Thank you! Celi we appreciate it all....it was even better spending the day out there with you guys.

We even had a chance to be in a segment for Univision channel 34, an interview that Celi was doing at the track which will air in May as soon as she lets us know when we will let you know so you all can see it too. AWESOME DAY TODAY!!!

I was so happy to see a great big smile on Marco's face. He was looking better after we arrived too. Tia Mona said he looked like shit when he got out of the car and his face just lit up like a kid at Christmas time before getting into the car. Very proud to see that nothing is going to keep him down ....Marco you took a major step forward in your recovery today and I was amazed to see the super strength you have and the determination to get better fast.

All antibiotics are now done and he is looking great....his hair is now dark and coming out in full force. Still need to take it easy but is doing great over all............

One week today

2010-03-29T19:11:00.002-04:00

It's been one week today since Marco came home. First couple of days he couldn't eat to much and he would get full with only just a little food. But he has gradually started to eat more which is good. So he has lost some weight, he finally shaved, his hair has been growing at an alarming rate....if Micheal Jackson was alive he could of auditioned for a wolf part or something ...lol.

One of the medications will be finishing tomorrow and two other ones will be done in 7 more days. Frustration starts to kick in and it is understandable ....leaving the damn hospital only to continue hospital hours in your own home sucks.

Tomorrow we will be going to COH to have them remove all 33 staples on his left side and hopefully take out the drainage tube he still has in place. Which we think may be the cause of added pain to that area. A CT Scan will also be done to check his lungs and blood drawn for lab work. This infection has really made us uneasy and this time around was really hard for a speedy recovery but slowly but surely.

As for now he is still on a slight isolation and getting his rest. Momma M and the girls came this weekend and even though they stayed for about an hour :) she made a pot of caldo de pollo which was yummy. Marco seemed a little tired but talk a little then went to rest. Thank you for the visit and understanding that he still needs his most needed rest to fully recover.

It's overwhelming and scary at times to see everything he goes through. From the surgery, the side affects of all the medication which he needs so he doesn't feel the pain, the severe infection he had and to deal with all the chills and fevers and come home to more medication and side affects as well with hardly any rest for now.

One day at a time.......

Day Two

2010-03-25T11:59:00.002-04:00

Day Two:
The home nurse came yesterday to make sure I was going to be ok with giving Marco his IV antibiotics. Once she saw I was fine she left and I was on my own. Today will be a whole day that I will be infusing the IV so, so far it is going well.

Still on antibiotics one of them one every 8 hours and the other every 12 hours thru IV. One by mouth 4x a day plus pain medication as needed. He has been doing well....and I think I have been doing a hell of job doing the infusion for him. lol

Marco has been eating better at home..Salt-n-Pepper and DLP had some chicken soup for him when we got home yesterday and I made some pork with green salsa and rice and he tore it up you would have thought que lo tenian amarado. The food has been going down smoothly so that is a good thing. He is getting around the house just fine.

He had some oatmeal, toast, yogurt, and apple sauce this morning with some orange juice and canela seemed to go down. So off to a good start I would say...
Still tired and with some discomfort as he says on the surgery side and I still have him confined to the room till his stomach is feeling better just for house precautions. Which he is doing better.

I will keep you posted....:)

START THE CAR! START THE CAR!

2010-03-24T13:18:00.002-04:00

Today we finally go home! Very excited! This time it's fo'real, they are getting all the paper work done. We are just waiting two hours so he can get his last potassium pills before leaving the hospital. Just finished his last PT session and with one hour to go. Mr. AnsyPants is wanting to scream like that IKEA commercial START THE CAR! START THE CAR!

The kids were excited to get the text this morning and so were many of you.

Not coming home today...ugh!

2010-03-23T22:24:00.002-04:00

Well, Marco will not be going home today, I was hoping that they may change their minds but of course they didn't. We will try again for tomorrow. Meanwhile it's good like that he can be watched for anything and to make sure he is ok to go home.

Marco had been walking around the floor today and the last walk the PT took him off the floor to the new PT room with all the bikes so Marco took it upon himself to tell the girl that she could use any of the equipment she wanted. So she said you want to get on the bike and Marco said yes. Ten minutes later Marco got off and walked back to his room. My jaw dropped to my knee because I missed it , I was waiting for him in the room then ran to the bathroom and when I came back he had just arrived from his tour. Unbelievable the things he does. GREAT JOB HONEY!!!

We just want to go home and see our kids we have been missing Machini since Monday and DLP since yesterday. We love and miss you guys. The phone is just not enough, hope to see you guys soon.

It's been a very long, exhausting day today with test and nurses coming and going. We will be going to sleep early and hope Marco has a good night tonight with out waking up to much.

Night Ya'll

Got Sleep? We didn't!

2010-03-23T13:40:00.002-04:00

Well sleep we didn't get much of last night. Marco was up all night with the scoots. lol I can see his face when he reads this entry. He will beginning with "Why the hell you want to announce that to the world. lol and I will laugh and say I couldn't find a nicer word for the shits. lol followed by "You would be looking for a nicer word. lol and I would laugh again.

So today it's about 10:45am and they will taking Marco for another ultrasound of his right leg because his leg was very swollen more than the normal so just for precautions that there is no blood clot they will check this morning. Marco is still having severe pain on his left shoulder since day one after the surgery but has been tolerating the physical therapy movements as well as he can tolerate them.

Dr. Grannis came in last night and checked up on Marco and said he was glad all has gone well with the surgery but we still have to keep in eye on his intestinal infection that he has to make sure it doesn't turn into a more serious problem so he is to stay on the antibiotics at home for seven days and if he feels any pain or is still bloated in a week he is to come back to get checked right away. He again told us that all the labs looked good and there was no cancer at the margins so again very happy to hear that Marco is cancer free now.

I think all would have gone well after the surgery if Marco hadn't gotten the severe intestinal infection he would have been recovering better but the very high fevers and chills not to mention the scoots just didn't go very well for him. So now we continue with our one day at a time and focus on getting Marco home to fully recover in his own room , bed etc, etc......

Can't say thank you enough to all of you .....we truly appreciate everything....for the hotel stay that went over the one to two days turned out to be a six days. For washing my dirty clothes or else I would have been a nasty ass walking around COH.

For taking Machini to the Japanese Garden, Rose Garden, the Jewish Temple or just laying in the grass as you froze your ass off cause he was asleep on your jacket.

For staying with DLP who didn't want to leave the 3rd floor lobby to be closer to her dad. Even though she scared the hell out of you when she woke from a deep sleep and scared everyone in the lobby cause she has sleep texting syndrome and didn't even know it.

For running back and forth to get us something to drink or eat and for all of the well wishes, thoughts, e-mail, texts, white envelopes support, snail mail, calls and for the most important thing that has helped us through all this ordeal, the one true source that helps us get over all the shit we go through is all the positive vibes from the positive people around us. Thank you!

Will be heading home tomorrow

2010-03-22T14:24:00.003-04:00

Marco's temp is now normal since last night. All labs came back normal this morning. They will be sending him with 2 medication by IV and he will be put on a no fried food, low sugar intake. He will have his picc line installed again for easy access to his vein for the medications, later on today he will have a CT Scan.

The infection specialist came into the room to do an exam gave him a list of what to look for at home and what to do just in case. The cellulitis on his lower abdomen will be watched as well seems like it is more light pink than red. We will also be taking precautions at home for the next couple of days the basic washing hand constantly and using anit-baterial solutions. The doctors let us know that the precaution of isolation is to maintain a clean barrier of our clothes to control what we bring in and what we take out. Again for precaution.

Marco is very excited he will be going home tomorrow and get the much needed rest from being in the hospital and in his own bed.

DLP was very excited when I gave her the news this morning .....as was I.

Thank you everyone for all of your support and well wishes and thoughts. We do appreciate everything everyone does for us.

FOUR WEST FINALLY

2010-03-22T00:58:00.002-04:00

Oh I was so happy to see Marco being moved to a reg. floor being in ICU made me nervous just being there is scary I guess. The nurses there were awesome. The attention that they give their patients is amazing, very caring.

Marco's temp came down to 99.9 at about 8pm today. Yay! Finally I see a glimpse of a full recovery from this severe infection he has in his belly. I was able to let out a sigh of relief and feel my shoulders hurt from all the stress this week has been not to mention the weeks before surgery. I feel it all starting to catch up with me. Marco looks good in his new ISOLATION ROOM huge room with one room to change into all the gowns you have to wear then you can go into his room. All for quarantine and everyone's precaution. Today, I say him feel better that he was out of ICU and into a reg room his face lit up. It makes a huge difference. Tomorrow we will be talking to the doctor again and see were he stands and what all his labs say. As for now he is glad to be out of ICU on our way out and hoping to have him home soon to finish his recovery.

Another Transfusion

2010-03-21T14:24:00.003-04:00

Marco still had fever over night and still this morning but is a stable high I guess. His blood results are as follow his salt is almost normal so he is enjoying every drop of DASANI water he says it's the best ever. But I put a limit to his intake to make sure he doesn't over due it and have his salt go down.
His potassium looks good but his red blood cell were low so he is getting a blood transfusion this morning it will run a good portion of this afternoon. Over all he is doing well as he can. The medication makes him very tired and gives him hallucinations.

He is trying to keep at least one eye on the TV to watch NASCAR but the medication making his eyes heavy. I have to call out his name and yell focus he doesn't want to miss the race.
Will be staying another day in ICU this time around is turning out to be expensive with the hotel,they need to be sending people home who are feeling better so that I can stay with Marco in a normal room.

Thank you to Moshura's sister, Leezy120, for helping with the hotel stay and everything else to my Momma and Momma M we really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Wanted to thank everyone as well for all the well wishes and thoughts and positive vibes.

Will keep you posted on what is going on later.

Quarentined!

2010-03-20T21:51:00.002-04:00

I told Marco that we were going for a walk....I went outside the room to let the nurse know that I was going to take him on a walk as she was hanging up the phone and she said he can't leave his room and she followed me to the door and said we had to take extra precaution because she just got off the phone with the doctor who told her the test were back and he had a severe intestinal infection and he couldn't go walk ....he was going to be quarantined.....WHAT THE F ! is all I could thing off.

Your F'n kidding me. So, I told Marco and he took the news with stride. So here comes the PCA with a bag full of yellow gowns that I and the nurses had to wear. With a warning to wear at all times in the room and drop in a certain container. Holy Shit just like in ET or some kind of weird movie like that. So no one is allowed in.

So the whole day while we waited for the test to come back I had Marco do his exercises that they gave him to do. He has been doing his breathing and fighting the chills and fever all at the same time. The medications he is on are strong to help with the pain but it also has his mind going 100 miles an hours but one or the other and the medication is for all the good reasons.

Just seeing him like this and all he has gone through since Monday breaks my heart but it seems like they have a handle on it now. This is just part of a reality we are faced with everyday that at any given time anything could be triggered and we just have to deal with it as it comes as scary as it may be ....we face it and move on.

I told Momma M today we have been dealing with so much this week that I had forgotten to stop and be joyful that Marco is now cancer free, in remission. There is absolutely no cancer in his body as of Monday and we haven't had a chance to breath, sigh, cry, hug, enjoy yet. The emotions of this week has overpowered that moment for us but we will be happy with just having the chills and fever go away and that is enough for now we can hug and everything else later.

I think I am noticing life now like Forrest Gump ...."Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you are going to get." and its so try it's like you bite into one chocolate and it's all good and all then maybe the one you bit into a couple of days later you bite into it and you spit it out and say what the hell were they thinking making that shit and you put it back in the box ...why we do that I don't know maybe for someone else to experience that nasty ass chocolate or just to see their reaction maybe but it's always something new everyday good or bad.

With that said Marco's chocolate is a nasty ass one, so we are just waiting for him to try the good one and get him home.

Meanwhile quarantined!! Don't know till when will update later.........

Hell of a Night

2010-03-20T11:26:00.004-04:00

Marco had a hell of night last night. With no sleep from yesterday night and having a very busy day yesterday with no rest time in between he is exhausted. Looks like he may have cellulitis (not the same as cellulite) on the lower left side under the surgery area. Possible gut infection as well . They have not been able to bring down his temp from the last 5 days.

He will be needing a blood transfusion this morning his red blood count is low. His salt has been low but they have stopped giving him sodium which just makes his taste bud react horribly. Hasn't been able to eat because it all tastes like over powered salt.
His white cells have been coming down drastically which is good. So now they have given him 3 other antibiotics.

Today we will see what the test results are for the test that where done yesterday.

Chills and Fever

2010-03-19T18:01:00.002-04:00

It's been very busy since this morning one thing after another. The culture tests were taken since Tuesday. These test are blood taken to lab and they have cultures grown to determine what type of infection it could be running in the blood. These test came back today all clear of any blood infection. The chills are very aggressive followed by high fevers which has Doctors puzzled because the test have come back negative for any blood infections.

The Infection Experts have been called to take a look at his case and pin point where the infection could be coming from.

Marco has had no sleep since last night all night up with fever and chills. Physical Therapy took him for his walk and then arm movements. The took chest tube line out and checked to see if there was any infection at the site but all was clear. He was taken off oxygen to have him feel more comfortable and not so agitated. They are doing a ultrasound of his legs to see if there is a blood clot just as a precaution. Just try to find what is going on.

So just taken it day to day to see what happens hoping the chills and fever will subside and give him much needed rest he needs.

It's not easy seeing Marco go through all this....usually we have answers right away and this time the doctors seem almost APENDJADOS to what is going on. Tomorrow is another day....

Wake Up Call

2010-03-18T13:41:00.002-04:00

It was about 1130 last night when Marco called, his fever had gone back up and he was starting to panic. He didn't know whether he was dreaming or not. DLP and myself got up and rushed back to City of Hope as fast as we could. When we arrived Marco was sweating like crazy, the nurse kept giving him ice baths to try to control his fever. Once we arrived Marco began to calm down although he continued to go from sweating, to his whole body shivering of how cold he was. Good thing that Marco was the nurses only patient, he needed all the attention he could get. The nurse said that the constant back a forth reactions to the fever were most likely due to a type of infection in his body; the results of the test would confirm what it is. About 3 am Marco had been doing better, so DLP and I returned to the hotel to get some rest.
This morning when we returned Marco was doing better, his x-rays came back clear and his fever has stabilized. Test results should be coming in today, will keep you posted.

Infection?

2010-03-17T22:40:00.002-04:00

It was a long day at City of Hope today. As we arrived to the hospital this morning I thought I'd call Marco to see if he wanted us to pick up some breakfast and to let him know we were at COH already. His voice seemed weird , out of breath and unable to talk with out trying to catch his breath. I said the hell with breakfast , relax I am going up to the room now is what I said. As we got to the room he was breathing uneasy and the nurses were all around him, the fever had spiked up all night and his breathing was getting worse. The changed his pain medications and gave him a different anitbiotics. By mid morning he was feeling better but still struggling to breath correctly.

They determined that he may have a slight pneumonia accumilating in his left lung. They had to give him a sodium IV because his salt level had drop below the normal which was weird . He started to sweat and them had major chills and was feeling very cold. Later on in the day, Marco was up talking a walk in the ICU floor. He was very tired after the walk but was doing well. He had his bath and was doing well. He is doing all that he is asked to do to avoid any other problem to come up.

Other that all that he is amazingly doing well. I would like to thank everyone for all their thought and well wishes for a speedy recovery.

Today was also the day that Moshura's left back to DC ....we are going to miss her. But we loved having her here with us the time that she could ....we love you.

Way to go Marco, keep up the fight honey we all love you! You can do it!